It's an Ursula story.

I believe it!

No jury in the world indeed.

*giggles hysterically*

So glad I was not eating or drinking when I read this.

I was. And now I must change the bedding.

I swear, I read the title and the first line to my husband, who immediately asked "What is Ursula doing now?"

I read the first line to my husband and he immediately settled in for me to read him a good Ursula story.

I could hardly get it out about halfway through from laughing so hard. It's a good thing the neighbors are having a party, because it's way too late to laugh this loud.

Ow, my side hurts. And my eye, from wiping away tears after putting on lotion. Oh dear. I feel another gigglefit coming on...

Note to self: Do NOT call Ursula during the No-Pants part of the evening.

One of our pups managed to put a tiny hole in his ear that bled like crazy. Then he shook his head like a rattle and splashed blood all over my glasses, my face, and the nice, white martial arts uniform I was getting ready to put on. After a futile attempt to remove the stains, I went to class in a cold, wet, blood stained gi and no one believed anything I said in explanation.

I really wish I'd had your story to tell. They still wouldn't have believed me but at least it would have sounded like I had made an effort to tell an entertaining lie.

Hydrogen peroxide is good for getting blood out of a gi. Or really any white clothing. I'd be careful using it on colors, I don't know if it would bleach them.

Poor puppy, though. Not that he didn't have it coming, but still. By the way, should you need to secure a bandage on the dog's ear, pantyhose are fabulous in this capacity. Tie the hose on means sticking the ears in the legs with gauze and then tying them around neck.

Also, it's guaranteed hilarity and sad clown/dog faces.

"Do your ears hand low, do they waggle to and fro? Can you tie them in a knot? Can you tie them in a bow?" *beth hums the rest that she forgot the words to*

(Poor, poor beagle! Poor Ben! Poor Ursula and Kevin! Poor Cassie, for that matter.)

Your "life in the Ursula household" stories make my day. This one I especially found amusing because it reminded me of the time our youngest cat blew up my nose.

Can't breathe...laughing too hard...send help!

I just laughed so hard I cried. Thanks, I needed that.

Gotta stop sipping coffee while reading LJ. Best description was Ben contemplating the middle distance while taking care of litter box business. Anyone who owns a cat is familare with that look:)

You need to come visit and meet the zoo. And see the birds.

BRB, rolling on floor laughing while my cat judges me. XD

Ahahahahahahaha *gasp* ahahahaha.

I was both eating lunch and at work. I am now getting funny looks. It is worth it.

Ok. This story had me laughing as much as your tick removal story.

sounds just about right for this house too

you need to read Stupid Things My Cat Does on facebook...the posts by Lauri.
Sharing this with my beloved

EPIC! *wipes tears of laughter*

This is momentous. It dwarfs 'Dogs in Elk.'

I must disagree. This does not have multiple dogs soaked in elk effluvia. Just blood in the bedroom.

What, you've never read about Dogs In Elk? Here, I give you a link. (I've recovered from laughing hysterically here, and from laughing hysterically re-reading this, in all the places it has filtered to. This seems to be the best archive of it; it includes a mock-up of the scene, and a link to a message from the original tale-teller confirming the validity of the story:

About three lines in, I started laughing so hard I cried. My husband was very concerned, but rather impressed that I managed to read the rest of the entry with tears streaming down my face. He read a few lines, said "ah, you're reading Ursula," and went back to his computer. :)

Well fancy seeing you here... :P

Oh dear Lord, please tell me that there is photographic evidence of the "Bloody Ursula Room" (or at least the pajamas before they get washed) that you'd be willing to show at a convention! :-0

Poor puppy. Poor Cassie. Has the bleeding stopped? Has the domain been reclaimed?

I'm seriously dying of snorting over here. :)

Oh I must hear the Tick Removal story!!

Awesome, made me snort coke out my nose :)

I see someone mentioned Dogs in Elk - but have you read I Has A Sweet Potato?

How is this MY LIFE?

I PDF'd that story, and re-read it from time to time. Along with Neighborhood Hazard, wherein a motorcycle rider encounters a demonic squirrel, and the Beet Pulp Safety Warning story (another squirrel, but less traumatic).

Animals is fun.

*rocking back and forth, hands over mouth, tears streaming down face* *send halp*

A classic comedy routine!

Having been around several floppied eared dogs and the encounters of said ears with cat claws, I know that bleeding well. Along with the whining and pathetic looks that go with it. I don't think I've ever seen any other wound that produces that much blood for that small a wound!

One of these days we need to put cameras in your home to tape these events for prosperity.


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