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I Know My World Too Well

Had a complicated dream last night that involved me going through a portal in a painting painted black (by using a rock with the Biting Pear painting on it!) turning into a fox, spotting a pair of unicorns (because only animals can see unicorns, which are apparently wandering around the city most of the time) turning into a unicorn myself, and having a lengthy conversation with them. The unicorns (which were the goat-deer-like model rather than the horse-model) took me to a very odd Chinese bathhouse, full of moving stone statues, where we prayed to some peculiar deity.

“AHA!” I said, suddenly enlightened, turned into a dragon, and went off to kill the emperor, which apparently was what I was supposed to do all along.

None of that is terribly important. This is pretty standard dream fare for me. What stuck in my mind was that after I had slain the emperor, I went off to check my blog, and discovered an argument in the comments about whether or not I had actually been a unicorn all along.

Just in case anyone is wondering, I am not now and never have been a unicorn. Just in case it ever comes up.

Originally published at Tea with the Squash God. You can comment here or there.

If I repost the heck out of this it's because my friends and family don't believe me when I explain that I"m not the ONLY one who REGULARLY has dreams like that.

My boyfriend just doesn't understand. There's so many of us!

Linucorns have replaced unicorns these days anyway. Open source mythology FTW.

This isn't actually true, but should be.

I would like to vote for this option, please.

Strange. I wonder if this is the week to dream transform into a dragon because ... I did that just a few days back.

Never a fox or unicorn though. The only unicorn dreams I've ever had was back the first time I read Lackey's Fire Rose, and those were sightings, not beings.

But isn't that EXACTLY what someone who was secretly a unicorn would say‽‽‽‽‽‽‽‽‽‽‽‽‽‽‽‽‽ ;)

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That would be a good T-shirt...

Of course you're not a unicorn. You, being you, would be a kirin.

And I saw this and immediately looked for the like button.....Yes I know this isn't Facebook but still.....

For once, I believe you.

Unicorns represent chastity, fidelity, and the incarnation of Christ.

Ursula, ...well, ...doesn't.

Edited at 2012-12-11 04:56 pm (UTC)

That's what makes the unicorn's Ursula disguise so perfect! No one would ever suspect!

Noted: you're not a unicorn. You are an Ursula woken from dreaming that you are a unicorn.

Or perhaps you really are a unicorn, dreaming that you are an Ursula?

Or a bowling ball dreaming you're a plate of sashimi? Never assume what you see and feel is real!

Ha ha. You have ALWAYS been a unicorn.

It is entirely possible to be a unicorn and not realize it.

But what if you just don't *remember* your time as a unicorn?

OT you and Digger are in an article at SF Signal. Congrats,


That's what she says. But does she know?

But have you been a DRAGON all along, HMMMMMM?

Sounds like a Japanese fairy tale with powerful signifier animals. It doesn't seem too far off to think you might have been a fox all along. ;p

I don't think I've got enough inherent malice to be a fox, alas...

Of course you're not a unicorn. You're clearly an Earth Pony.

"My Little Ursula, My Little Ursula, la la la laa..."

- InfamousSnake

Well, I would be. Probably with a trowel on the butt.

Beats the hell out of my dream. I dreamed about a superhero named Crotchman who had a Utility Crotch with various tools that would pop out of it. I suspect he may have been partially inspired by Grant Morrison's run on Doom Patrol, particularly the character of The Codpiece.

...melatonin, man.

Bullshit. Obviously you are a kirin in disguise because the samurai birder saw through your outer mask and spoke to you in the mystical language of feathers and squeaks.

I call bullshit.

What does it say that I read that as "bushtit"??

I believe you. The Shield of Boringness would break.

HEAVENLY NOSTRILS! (Yes! I'm not the only one who reads that!)

I would absolutely read a story about unicorns in a city, who could only be seen by animals. I think it would work well as a mystery, along the same lines as the Sneaky Pie books -- the animals (and the unicorns) know what's going on, but they have to figure out how to convey this to the humans.

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Perhaps you are a dragon, dreaming you are an Ursula, who dreamed she was a unicorn for a while, and then woke up, but not all the way.

I had better be quiet, come to think of it, so you don't wake up into your dragon-self with Ursula disappearing with a "poof" as a result.

Shhh. You're an Ursula. Totally. Always have been. Right guys?


I'm just sayin'.

Well, it's a tough job, but when the Mandate of Heaven passes, someone has to handle the clean-up...

(Now I'm imagining you as dragon in a black trenchcoat.)

Oh my gods, do you realize what you've DONE!?

*Cue film noir music*

*Ursula voiceover*

In the city where fantasy walks the streets and the public bus system has you completely covered, only one has what it takes when things go sideways with explosions and possible Fairy Involvement.

His name, Danny. Detective Danny Dragonbreath.

*cut to Adult Danny in black trenchcoat, with a plush Ursula sticking out of a breast pocket and a toothpick smoldering between his teeth.*

Danny: I only take the HARD cases. You want magic, call Dresden.


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