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ursulav

Bark Like A Fish, Damnit!


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breeden
ursulav

Knocking on Wood

I am having another bout of everything being awesome and wonderful and people being cool and everything going really well and so I assume that I will find out I have pancreatic cancer* sometime next week.

Well, probably not. Still.

Really, I have awesome friends and fans and Kevin and I love you all very much and OH GOD, LIFE IS TOO GOOD, SOMETHING GO HORRIBLY WRONG QUICK SO THE UNIVERSE DOESN’T NOTICE.

(The beagle doesn’t count.)

Kevin thinks I may have some teensy mental issues about this, but the vast majority of creative people I know also seem to suffer from this weird marriage of work ethic and guilty and anxiety—”I am not working hard enough to deserve this so the world will notice at any moment and THEN I WILL BE EATEN BY CLOWNS.”

(You laugh! Clown attacks are up 17% since the recession started! With sequestration, clown control service will likely be cut and then where will we be?!)

In concrete news, I finished up a round of edits on this one projected that I started for Nanowrimo. Very promising noises are being made. Will keep everyone posted!

And everybody keep being so damn awesome. Damnit.

 

*This is the one I worry about. We have no genetic predisposition to it in the family, it’s just stuck in my brain somehow.

Originally published at Tea with the Squash God. You can comment here or there.


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I wouldn't call myself a creative person (unless cooking, gardening and mad DIY skills count...) and I have those anxieties. My mum says it's all part of living a happy and satisfying life as an adult. I just think it's time for the boyfriend to take up fiddling just so's I know someone'll be willing to duel the devil on my behalf eventually...

The beagle doesn't read or write either.

Been there, done that. I think it's a natural thing. My personal feeling is that people who never feel like that are the odd ones!

Completely unrelated note, I know you've said something about your policy of using your artwork for tattoos but I can't remember what it was or find it again!

Totally fine, send me a photo, I'd love to see it!

I also carry a superstitious expectation for my life to balance itself/return to (a usually horrible) equilibrium, so whenever something nice happens I tend toward extreme caution at crosswalks and checking the skies for rogue canada geese.

Pancreatic cancer is the scariest cancer. That is pretty true right there.

I wish we could bank up small things for a big one. Like, today, I feel like the universe owes me. Except I did have a patch of snow days a couple weeks ago. What's the conversion here? Or are they nonlumpable?

I spent all day trying to ID a duck I saw and my guy photographed and finally going "Must be a weird hybrid" Only to discover it's a South American one that probably escaped captivity. And I blame it All On You.

I would much rather be trying to ID the weird South American bird than spending 20 minutes attempting to nail the ID on the rare Paper Bag Thrush. *facepalm* Or the even more impressive White PVC Pipe Whooping Crane.

I know where you're at. I've had two MRIs in the past two months to look at a weird lump in my neck. I'm gonna have my parotid gland removed in another couple weeks.

Things will get better. :) You're awesome and you'll kick ass!

Ack! I hope everything turns out okay and you heal up quick!

I fully expected "in concrete news" to be followed up by an announcement that you're preparing to pour a slab for a studio, or are learning to do large-scale cast-concrete sculpture or something.

Well, I'm glad someone is having a good time, and someone who deserves it, because I'm dealing with a cat with kidney disease. (But we found a k/d food he'll eat, so I'm feeling better than the "HE WON'T EAT ANYTHING THAT'S NOT BAD FOR HIM" state I was in last night.)

So. Have a good time of things. O:>

You laugh! Clown attacks are up 17% since the recession started!

Don't be silly, no one laughs at clowns.

*offers cup of chamomile tea*

bloodsong1

2013-03-05 03:57 am (UTC)

If it's any consolation, I have been suffering a weird kind of bittersweet happiness because I have a wonderful shiny new boyfriend who loves me AND my kids and is all kinds of awesome and I've fallen in love and I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!

I sincerely hope you do not develop any types of cancer, especially pancreatic.

I was laughing so hard while reading this, I woke my roommate up. In other news, I'm now scared of clowns again.

My mom had pancreatic cancer. At least it was fast.

Are you sure the beagle doesn't count? Maybe he's like one of those mystic things that soaks up all the "something bad must happen here" and transmutes it into a steady stream of mostly-harmless petty chaos, or something.

THAT would almost be enough to convince me to get a beagle.

Almost.

So apropos of pretty much nothing (again), I've been working on a KUEC drinking game. So far:

Drink if:

-Ursula addresses the internet
-The beagle goes off
-Sriracha
-Ursula talks about supertasters
-Ursula mentions synesthesia
-A wild teenager appears!
-Ursula attempts to derail the segue to a sponsor
-There are problems following package directions
-K&U disavow sponsorship by a mentioned product
-Somebody says they're drunk or points out somebody else is drunk
-Ursula remarks on fonts

Finish your drink if:

-"This is not food!"
-We learn intimate details about Kevin and Ursula's sex life
-A teenager is traumatized

Great list. :D I would venture to add "anytime one of them pronounces 'allspice' as 'all-spiss.'"

oh yes, ONE LIMA BEAN will be all it takes... and the beagle shall become the thwarter of air and lung.

Really, I have awesome friends and fans and Kevin and I love you all very much and OH GOD, LIFE IS TOO GOOD, SOMETHING GO HORRIBLY WRONG QUICK SO THE UNIVERSE DOESN’T NOTICE.
Yeeeeeah, I know that feeling. Only, in my case the universe ever so kindly provided, which is why I had (minor-ish) surgery three weeks ago and couldn't go to the concert that we'd snagged (hard-to-get) tickets for only a few days prior. :-|

I really hope something like that will pass you by. Ain't nobody got time for that!

I totally have that anxiety.

And then my health does things like whomp me with a dislocated hip or depression or a three-day killer migraine, so I figure it actually does balance out.

People scared of clowns, DO NOT CLICK ON THIS LINK!

Apparently these are meant to make visiting the dentist less scary. LESS scary? http://t.co/I9gpt8v36a

Either that, or mouth wide open in a silent scream and paralysed with fear makes it so much easier for the dentists!

Conversely, I keep thinking that with all the crap that keeps happening to me, surely I'm due some good to balance out?!

But that never happens...

I think life tends towards an entropic maximum. Thus anything good is a transitory and localised phenomenon and crap is endless and permanent.


Edited at 2013-03-05 12:04 pm (UTC)

"Only the paranoid survive". Worry is healthy (in moderation), It is only when you stop worrying that life sneaks up behind with a sockfull of wet sand. You need a daily worry - but once it is over, enjoy the well-deserved goodness you are getting. Treat worry as a mental trip to the gym. Sweat while it is happening, but then shower and keep calm.


Even when life is crappy, I tend to vent and then look for something funny in it.
When things are good... share that!
As Spider Robinson sez: Shared pain is halved, shared joy is doubled.

I dunno, the way I tend to see it is that difficult times are an opportunity for growth and learning, which is why the universe contains suffering to begin with. However, if you are in a good situation to learn and grow *without* having to suffer horribly, the universe lets up a bit. Just a thought.

Those are common feelings, actually, and not limited to creative persons. They help to keep us honest. The folks who think they earned everything by themselves are folks like Mitt Romney.

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