So apparently the world is divided into two groups.
People who know that lawn crayfish exist, and people who go “WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?!”
Up until an hour ago, I belonged to the latter group.
And then I was idly raking leaves off some tender plants in the narrow, soggy flowerbed alongside the garage wall, and I happened to glance down into the burrow.
The burrow that has been there since last year. The burrow that I thought had some kind of rodent in it.
There was a crustacean claw in it.
Attached to a crustacean.
Apparently this is a thing in the South.
Well, what else was I going to name him?
I can’t tell the species. At a guess, it’s either a devil crayfish or a Greensboro burrowing crayfish, which are the two good color matches, or it’s one of a dozen crayfish that have no common names and not much in the way of photos but exist in lawns throughout the South. (It is not the common red crayfish, as he is murky gray-brown.)
I did what anybody does when they learn that an aquatic creature is living in their flowerbed–I went to Twitter screaming “HOW IS THIS MY LIFE!?!”
Several people informed me that yes. This is a thing that happens.
Everyone else on earth assumed I was drunk or insane or being an artist or engaging in some obscure form of collaborative fiction, possibly with Seanan McGuire. (Which would be awesome, don’t get me wrong, but no. The crayfish really exists.)
Some species, apparently, live in lawns. Anywhere with a high water table, say. And at night they come out and walk around the lawn.
There is a five-inch crayfish walking around my garden on ten legs right this minute while I’m typing.
Not gonna lie. That kinda squicks me out a little. I mean, I love animals well beyond the point of sanity and reason, but…dude, it is walking around out there. A freakin’ LOBSTER is WALKING in my garden.
(I poked a stick down the hole. It grabbed the stick. I pulled it partway out. It is a good five inches long. No, I’m not going to eat him.)
So. Um. South? Are you listening?
Nobody else knows you have burrowing crayfish.
This is not like having gophers or rats or pigeons. This is…like…NOBODY has lawn crayfish. Nobody in the rest of the country thinks this is a thing. You need to TELL people this is a thing. Preferably when they enter the state. There should be signs posted on the “Welcome to North Carolina” sign that says “BY THE WAY, WE HAVE LAWN CRAYFISH.”
It would be like having a tree octopus. Or squid that roost in the attic like bats. It is not a thing that the rest of the country is aware of. It is weird.
Ahem.
That said, I guess he’s been there for a year now, and he’s not hurting anything, near as I can tell. They appear to mostly cause cosmetic damage to lawns (which I don’t have) and they are also apparently nearly impossible to remove, and if this is a Greensboro burrowing crayfish, it’s a species of Special Concern that may actually be endangered except we don’ t know enough to get good data, so…well…
I guess I have a crayfish.
And this is my life.
Originally published at Squash's Garden. You can comment here or there.
That's why they're called mud bugs" Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa.
Is there a club for Sensible Midwesterners Surviving in the South yet? Can we start one?
Mind you, that was two score years ago, but .. .they were there.
and onion grass. I miss onion grass.
Incidentally, do you know about the giant stick bug they have brought back from near extinction? There is video of one hatching, it is glorious and creepy and awesome and ew and how did all that fit into there, seriously now.
Personally I would eat it, of course, but my money says you'll be doing the other thing, feeding it before the week is out.
HAH - they are here. I live in Spring and we get them all the time.
Please stand by while our neural networks find an appropriate response. (Other than "DEAR GOD IN HEAVEN!")
http://seananmcguire.com/icshorts.p
Please please consider this?
One time a friend, who had ingested a rather large amount of a hallucinogen, arrived at our house totally freaked out. "GUYS!!!!! You've got to come see this! There are giant monsters on the reservoir road!!!!" He insisted we get in the car and go witness this horror. You guessed it: there was so much water on the road that there were a bunch of crayfish running around on the asphalt, all of 2" in length.
Still, it was cool to see the little fellows out and scurrying, happy to have rain.
today, i learned about lawn crayfish. not only do they not stay in the water where they belong, but they apparently are bigger than the ones i found in the creek growing up in new hampshire. also, they turn lawns into a hazard. "
nature is weird sometimes. someone should do a "dear evolution" on lawn crayfish.
That's it. Never leaving New England again. Our crustaceans stay IN the water. Where they belong.
"There are lobsters on my law-wn,
there are lobsters on my-y law-wn..."
Partner who thought of this then wondered if a crayfish with a traffic cone on its head would look like a hermit crab.
Well. Apparently I've spent 27 years of my life in NC never seeing one of these (I mean, I saw crayfish in steams and such). I used to run barefoot in the yard when I was a kid! I don't know how I've never seen one of these.
Yet it does.