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Bark Like A Fish, Damnit!


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ursulav

Gingerbread Revolution!

So last night at Game Night, our buddy Mur GM'd a quick little RPG called "The Secret Lives of Gingerbread Men" (you can order it on Lulu.)

In this game, you play gingerbread men at Christmas. Each one has a Dark Secret. You are in a world where all cookies are eaten or the magic stops after Christmas, unless you can hitch a ride with Santa Claus to the North Pole, or you are chosen to be the one Cookie Ornament that is put on the tree.

It's a very fun little game, very easy to jump into. You come up with a basic background--I was a birdwatching cookie, Kevin was an angry punk rocker, our buddy Angi was a fire starter, we had Jason the Cookie Revolutionary--and a Dark Secret (I wanted to be eaten by birds, Kevin was licked by the cat before baking and deranged as a result, someone's mother was killed by a pumpkin, etc.) You use magical candy for various items--licorice ropes, peanut glue, red-hots for grenades, etc.

As with all games, the first act is to utterly foil the GM.

The NPC who was supposed to be our Story Hook--last year's Cookie Ornament--was in a box of ornaments. We broke into the box with explosives, got inside, discovered everything was wrapped in newspaper (Kevin was screaming "SMASH THE ORNAMENTS!" Jason was screaming revolutionary slogans.) and that there was a strand of tangly christmas lights. The NPC ornament, at the top of the box, yelled down that the lights were dangerous and we should avoid them. 

Tearing through all that newspaper to find an ornament heavy enough to smash the windows (we wanted to get outside) seemed like a lot of work. Newspaper burns, however. Our firestarter had JUST pushed a box of matches onto the floor...

"Burn the box!"
"Burn it, then smash it!"
"Fire? Fire?"
"OH MY GOD, WHAT ARE YOU IDIOTS DOING--"
"Don't worry, comrade! We will liberate you from the oppression of the box!"
"I'll throw an explosive red hot into the lights! Then they won't be a problem any more!"
"WHO GAVE URSULA EXPLOSIVES AND OH MY GOD WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU PEOPLE--"
"Up the revolution!"
"Power to the cookie!" (After awhile, we all fell into cookie revolutionary mode. It was sort of infectious.)
"If you are martyred, yours will be the first statue erected in the new cookie homeland!"
"If you live, you will be expected to help build the statues!"

Our GM went grimly to get another martini.

With the box ablaze, an electrical fire started in the corner, and the NPC cookie screaming from the top, we basked in the glow of a job well done. Cookie Guevara, in fine revolutionary form, staged a daring rescue of the NPC cookie--"The revolution leaves no cookie behind!" but had to glue him to his back in order to escape down the rope, as the cookie had taken a great deal of fire damage and had one arm and no legs.

Our GM put her face in her hands. "You...just...glued...the NPC...to your back. Permanently."

"Well, I couldn't just let him DIE," said Jason.

"No, actually, he would have preferred that."

"You know," I said, struck by sudden inspiration, "If we burn the curtains, the house will fill with smoke, and they'll HAVE to open a window."

"I have matches!"
"Burn the curtains!"
"Let the cleansing fires take the human oppressors!"
"Viva la revolution!"

Meanwhile, the other group of cookies, who were, y'know, being sane and crap, had successfully scaled the heating coils of the fridge in order to reach the Oracle who dwelt in a cookie jar on top. The Oracle told them to get out, now. "Santa Claus isn't coming to this house," said Mur. "There is waaaaaay too much naughtiness going on. We might as well climb into the microwave and end it all now."

"...would you like me to help you get into the microwave?"
"AUUGH WHAT ARE YOU ALL, CHAOTIC NEUTRAL!? Burn this, burn that, glue my npc to your back, assist my other npc's suicide, burn the curtains..."

"I prefer to think of myself as Chaotic Stupid," I said, with dignity.

"YOU HAVE SUCCEEDED!"

The billowing smoke caused the family to flee the house, leaving the door open, and we escaped into the night. Our GM ended it there, as it was getting very late, and a good time was had by all.

It's an awesome game. Anything where you have to put your head down on the table and cry with laughter for awhile--multiple times--is a good evening.

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I'm going to have to use "Chaotic Stupid" in my next game.

That would be a zombie's alignment, would it not?

I think I speak for everyone, when I say

seferin

2008-12-18 04:06 pm (UTC)

Bwahahaha!

Oh.MY.Gawd! X-D

*can't stop laughing*

That sounds SO fun. I'm going to go order the game now!

Now everybody at the library is looking funny at me... xD

You should role-play (and tell us your stories) more often, laughing it's so good for the health.

Utterly awesome!

I think that even trumps the In Nomine game I ran, where the PCs (angels, with a single Lilim) decided the best course of action would be to jumpstart Armageddon and reboot the world.

My In Nomine group's Christmas game involved having to go back in time to set things right after demons had used a thermonuclear device to destroy Bethlehem the night that Jesus was born. The game didn't run much longer past that, because really, after you nuke the Baby Jesus, what's left to do?

I am now going to have to make a batch of gingerbread revolutionaries decorated with little bandoliers of red hots and angry faces.

I want one! At least make an icon out of them!

That sounds like it was a fantastic game session!
I desperately want to own that game now; but maybe a version full of Ursula-and-friends inspired characters and crazy ideas. :)

BWHAHAHAHa...I would so be a Gingerbread revolutionary!

Viva la Revolution!!
[well, we're all revolting anyway!]

I miss being a gamer for ALL OF THESE REASONS.

LoL, and it's only a matter of time until somebody posts the "Lawful Stupid" comic.

http://www.giantitp.com/comics/oots0038.html

*sends a link to this post to her GM* XD

Wow! That sounds like it was cmpletely hilarious and I am deeply jealous of you.

I just laughed like a luatic until my flatmate came in to rescue me. There's seriously no way to explain this to a non-internet-literate person, they just look at you weird...

That reminds me of the last Paranoia game we had. Only with less crumbs and even more explosions.
Thank you for making me laugh so hard.

*dead of ker-awesome*

Any GM who breaks down like that is insufficiently flexible. No plot ever survives contact with the players.

I've learned not to bring a plot to the table—just throw a bunch of stuff at the players, see what sticks and roll with it.


Do you read Darths & Droids, by any chance?

Omg I'm going to have to get that game. I just cried with laughter while reading this. Chaotic Stupid ftw!

I MUST GET THIS GAME!!! Hubs and I just decided it would fit perfectly with our "Babysitting Co-op" theme for next year; one person babysits while the rest game...the next week, a different person babysits and the first person joins the game, etc - I LOVE these ideas I get from you! :) :)

Poor Mur. :D

Oh, and I saw this & thought of you:
http://craftastrophe.net/2008/12/shoe-fly-dont-bother-me/

By the same person is a game called Run Robot Red.....which sounds like it would also be up to your gaming standards. :)
Viva la cookie revolution!

Your GM should have a drink with the GM that once ran a Teenagers from Outer Space game for me and genepolice. He ended the game and swore to never run another game for us after our teenagers used a tactical nuke on the school gymnasium. I don't even remember why we did it. I'm sure we had a good reason, though.

Oh Ursula! That was wonderfully funny. i'm still wipes the tears of mirth away.

This is basically how all role playing goes with Ursula, she's way too creative! Our old GM was constantly invoking the laws of conservation of matter to prevent total surreality from breaking out. Of course, anyone who would allow Ursula's to be a shape changing mage is cracked anyway...at least the kitchens were nice...

For once, I WASN'T the only troublemaker!

I wanna be in on that cookie madness; my old group had a guy with a big nerf stick so we always had to follow the rules explicitly:(

Also, chaotic neutral is fun!

Your icon brings to mind the famed (to Mythbusters fans) Adam savage quote: "I reject your reality and substitute my own!"

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