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Journal 2-2-17



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Winter Sowing

Today I did real adult things like a real adult with pants, and then, to make up for this unaccustomed devotion to paperwork and filling out online forms, I went and planted a bunch of seeds.

It's much too early to plant out anything but peas and maybe radishes, but I'm trying the Winter Sowing method, which involves lots of mini-greenhouses made out of milk jugs and plastic trays and whatnot. I'm using a couple of those big round trays with clear covers, like you get shrimp in, or ham rolls, or whatever small foods.

I planted 8 types of pepper, 7 tomatoes, "Hairy Balls" Milkweed (heh heh) Danish Flag Poppies, cilantro, thyme, chiltepin and ground cherries. I have no idea if this will work--it seems absurd, putting these plants out now, as if you could just ask for miracles and get them! But gardening is basically asking for miracles and sometimes getting them, and people swear by it. I hate fiddling with grow-lights anyway, and I have way more seeds than I'll ever plant this year, so if they all die off, I'm not really out anything.

Still, it's nerve-wracking. I have read all the forums full of people in far colder zones who swear by this method, who put tomatoes out on February 2nd in Zone 5 and get sturdy plants (though they are not quite so far along as the grow-light versions, but significantly sturdier seedlings) but it is a weird leap of faith to plant things out when all your nerves are screaming "Bring them in! This is madness! This will never work!"

I have the little plastic cel-packs with four cels each, the kind you buy annuals in, so each cultivar gets four cels, two seeds to a cel, to be thinned later (assuming any of them survive!)

Kevin goes in for the last of the jaw surgeries tomorrow, so we recorded a week of Hidden Almanac tonight. I got another hamster illo done. The garden is warm and I just want to wander around in it, finding things that are coming up (The filberts! The filberts have FLOWERED!) and pulling the occasional weed. It is better than watching the news and waiting for each new body blow, and at least at some point I may actually get filberts out of it.

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Protest

I went to a protest at RDU today.

It was fine. Just...strange. We waved signs. We chanted. We admired each other's signs. We massively exceeded the numbers they expected to show up and the protest was eventually dispersed.

"There's one planned for April 15th," people told me. And I thought "It's not even February. It's been a WEEK. April is a thousand years away. I don't believe this can last until April 15th. I don't know if I believe it'll last until March."

We live in very, very strange times, and they are happening faster than I ever thought possible.

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Rabbits for Refugees

Twenty pendants, $40, all rabbits, all proceeds to the International Rescue Committee to aid refugees trapped by Trump's ban.

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Summer in Orcus Collection on Sale!

We got ebooks! Hot fresh ebooks! The whole collection, in one place!

PLEASE NOTE: If you are a Patreon person, you get it free! There should be an email in your inbox! You don't have to buy it! You already helped support it like whoa!

Amazon:

B& N

Smashwords

And yes, to forestall the question--I'm currently chatting with a publisher about a print volume, so that's hopefully in the works for the not-terrible-distant future!


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Dream Theater

(slightly expanded from the Twitter record shortly after waking.)

DREAM: You're a girl making her way to the frontier to find her fortune.

ME: Premise accepted!

DREAM: You have a feckless brother with you.

ME: He won't last long.

DREAM: You meet a lovely woman, who vaguely resembles the County Extension officer, who will take you as an apprentice. Soon you will go downstream from the town and make money doing frontier-y things.

ME: With you so far.

DREAM: She is concerned that you bring enough socks.

ME: Seems legit.

DREAM: Axe murder! Everyone in town is now dead except you and the woman and the axe murderer.

ME: These things happen.

DREAM: You hide under anachronistic sheets of injection molded plastic as the axe murderer stalks the town.

ME: Yay injection molded plastic!

DREAM: Also, your brother is lost on the tundra.

ME: See, I knew that'd work out.

DREAM: Sexy Idris Elba shows up.

ME: HELLO SEXY IDRIS ELBA MY WE ARE SHIRTLESS TODAY

DREAM: The woman tells you she is a member of the cult of midwives. She has a necklace with a weird symbol on it. Kinda looks like an anarchy symbol only with labia.

ME: Don't care, go back to Idris--oh damn, a cult of midwives? That's pretty good. I should take notes.

DREAM: Sexy Idris Elba leaves.

ME: Nooooo!

ME: My bitterness overwhelms me.

DREAM: Axe murderer!

ME: Screw it, I kill that guy. He might hurt Idris.

DREAM: ...uh.

DREAM: Not where I expected this to go. Give me a minute.

ME: I'll wait.

DREAM: Your brother returns! Possibly he is also an axe murderer! At the very least, he is lazy and did not actually go on the tundra after all. He has been in the barn.

ME: Can I kill him too?

DREAM: What?

ME: He cut a hole in the barn because the door was on the other side and he was too lazy to walk! I'm getting the axe!

DREAM: ...this would be frowned upon.

ME: Chance I'm willing to take.

DREAM: OH LOOK SHIRTLESS IDRIS ELBA IS BACK

DREAM: He is telling you about his visions.

ME: While not wearing a shirt, right?

DREAM: Lotta visions. Like a frontier blog.

ME: As long as he's shirtless, it's all good.

DREAM: The townspeople are all back. Turns out they weren't murdered after all.

ME: This is dreadful.

DREAM: They have arrested Idris for axe murder!

ME: It seems this situation could be solved with a WHOLE LOT MORE AXE MURDER. Just sayin'

DREAM: ...You are out on the tundra. Alone.

ME: But do I have an axe?

DREAM: NO ONE GETS AN AXE. THE AXES ARE GONE. THERE WILL BE NO AXES FOR ANYONE.

ME: Well, this sucks.

DREAM: The clouds are doing something weird and uncanny and have cat and crow heads.

ME: No time, gotta save Idris.

DREAM: It's really neat, though? Like, they're all twisty and swirly and stuff?

ME: A SEXY MAN NEEDS ME

REAM: We blew the entire budget on these clouds!

ME: You're going to execute shirtless Idris Elba. I AM BUSY.

DREAM: This one's a dragon with like a skeleton in its mouth and that one over there is a herd of buffalo with crow heads.

ME: I ride back to town! I will save Idris!

DREAM: You have to fill out paperwork saying you're his alibi.

ME: ...Anticlimactic.

DREAM: You can't use a fountain pen worth a damn in a dream, either.

ME: You just can't give me anything here, can you?

DREAM: But wait! If you sign this form, your reputation will be compromised because you, an unmarried young woman, were alone with a man! Unchaperoned!

DREAM: The townsfolk will judge you!

ME: Nathaniel Hawthorne? What are you doing here?

DREAM: Ok, you've saved Idris but now you're a fallen woman.

ME: ...

DREAM: NO AXES

DREAM: Idris decides the honorable thing to do is compromise you further.

ME: I forgive you for everything.

DREAM: Ha ha, sucker! Evil clouds are back!

ME: Nooooooo!

DREAM: The clouds are emanating from a monstrous device buried in the tundra!

ME: Okay, but how compromised are we talking?

DREAM: Huge machine! Gouts of clouds erupt out! No one is getting compromised!

ME: Then I don't care if they kill us all now.

DREAM: You must pry open the grate on the machine while cloud monsters attack!

ME: And sexy grateful Idris?

DREAM: Went to get a shirt.

ME: KHAAAAAAAAAAAANNNN!

DREAM: There's a piece of meat stuck in the grate. Looks like bologna or something.

ME: ...ok.

DREAM: That was the problem.

ME: wut

DREAM: Evil piece of possessed meat drove the machine mad. It happens.

ME: What?!

DREAM: HEY LOOK IT'S IDRIS AGAIN

DREAM: He's brought you a quagga hide. He's very grateful.

ME: Oh yeah oh baby--wait, quagga hide? Where'd he get a quagga?

DREAM: ...

ME: This is important! Does he know where there are quaggas?

DREAM: HE HAS NO PANTS

ME: Then put on some damn pants and find me a quagga!

DREAM: You know what? I'm outta here. I can't work under these conditions.

ME: *wakes up*

ME: ...well, crap.

There is probably a moral here, but I think this just speaks to my priorities as a human being.

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Not dead Journal

...but holy moley, this con-crud has some teeth to it. Cough, body ache, fever and fatigue. Then you lay in bed and think "Am I REALLY sick or just lazy with a cough?" Then you get up out of guilt and then you have to sleep for three hours. Fun.







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Snow Journal





The tweet, if you can’t read it, reads as follows:

ERNIE: i ate snow sad now
ME: Oh buddy, your ears are so cold. Let me snuggle–GET YOUR TONGUE OUT OF MY COFFEE
ERNIE: better now

Anyway, being home alone with the hounds during a snow event is not a bad thing, although I’ll be glad to see another human soon!


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First Journal of the Year



I’ll tell you a thing, though. As many crappy little doodles as I do in these pages (and there are many!) when I look back, I don’t think “God, that sucked! I wish I’d done better!” I’m just glad I drew a weird little thing at all. Even if it’s just a chicken.


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In Which I Take The First Steps Towards An Alarming New Skill

Here we have a post that I am more than a little afraid to write, but I will do it because I am me and I do not let good sense stop me. And also I have written sagas of having electrodes taped to my butt, and if y'all can handle that, you can handle anything.

And, perhaps most obviously, if I can do this, anybody can do it, and perhaps my stark terror will be of use to someone.

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