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breeden
ursulav

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Right before I woke up this morning, I dreamed I was at a zoo with a naturalist and his daughter (evidentally a friend of mine, since we were both teenagers.) We were looking at the turtles.

"Hey," I said, "there's something wrong with that turtle! Its shell is coming loose!" And indeed, the top of the turtle's shell was flapping, rather like a clamshell hinged on one side, and various other smaller turtles were trying to climb inside the one turtle's open shell. It was running around the pen (well, "running" is a relative term here--for a turtle, it was bookin') and appeared both agitated and sort of resigned, with its shell flapping and the other turtles chasing it.

Had the dream ended there, it would have been nicely symbolic and I coulda had a field day if I was the sort of person who went to a therapist, but no, of course it didn't end there. "We gotta get that turtle to a vet!" we thought, and, since the naturalist (who resembled that big Turkish guy in the Indiana Jones movies) evidentally worked there, we went into the enclosure and grabbed the turtle, which was probably about twenty inches in diamater and weighed maybe forty pounds, and hauled it out of the pen.

"Wait a minute," I said, looking under the shell, "This can't be right. It's not, like, scaly. This turtle has fur! Turtles don't have fur!" (I'm so astute in my dreams.)

"It can't have fur," the other teenager said, "it's a turtle."

"I'm telling you, it's got fur! And...um...hey, why does this turtle have eight eyes?" (Which it did, small black round eyes in rows across the top of it's turtley head.)

With terrible suspicion, I flipped open the turtle shell and counted...eight legs.

"OH MY GOD, THE TURTLE'S A FUCKIN' GIANT SPIDER!"

Now, I object to spiders no more strenuously than the next person, (provided the next person isn't Gryllus) they merit no more than a mild "Ew" and don't even register on the same scale as, say, house centipedes, but the discovery that I was handling a twenty-inch-across-the-body giant turtle-spider was still a bit much. I recoiled, gibbering. The other teenager scoffed--it couldn't be a spider, it was a turtle and hoisted its back legs, to reveal giant clicking spinnerets. "Okay," she said, a bit shakily, setting it down again, "it's a spider."

The naturalist charged up, carrying a pair of insect-catching tongs that was never meant for a forty-pound insect, and said "We have to catch it for posterity! It's a new species!" but by that point, the turtle-spider had shed its shell and glommed onto a nearby ant-hill. The ants went nuts. We studied the situation. "Here," said the naturalist, injecting me with something, "antibiotics. And it should take the swelling down." "What swelling?" "From the bite." "What...is this giant lump on my shin?!"

And then I woke up, with a cramp in my left calf. Which probably explains that.


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Isn't it amazing how your body will hear/feel something and feed you a dream that can "last" hours all in less than a minute? Sometimes, it can't be more than ten seconds?

Ick, nonetheless.

I have no particular spider phobia, but still, Ick!

It occurs to me that your brain seems to have enough creativity to supply a whole flock of artists, Ursula... You should start yourself one of those nifty post-modern artist sweat-shops, if you can find enough talented, uninspired artists to do the grunt work on your ideas that you don't want (or can't use). Then you can just sign and sell...

I'm envisioning an Ursula Art Empire in the works... ;o]

(As for spiders, I'm with Gryllus, "Ew," just doesn't cut it. I wouldn't be sleeping for a week, with the same dream. O_o)

But I love spiders! :-D I love it when they come in and hang out in the apartment. They're so cool. *_*

Ah! Okay, I took it as you being the other extreme... Sorry!

I used to like them, but then they invaded my nightmares once, when I was very sick. :o(

Spiders ARE so cool. They're just so neat looking with all the speckles and pattern variations and just the way the joints work and their eyes and mouth bits and... well everything *rambles* I love spiders too.
I keep spiders about the house intentionally, move them out of the way when vacumming, and watch them any given chance.
Unfortunately enough the boyfriend is the type to squish them and his sister is the type that squeals and jumps up on things and gets my bf to squish them. I have to save the spiders!!!
I get nice big ones around here, though not as big as turtles. I would love to see one... keep my distance if it were poisonous especially if it were one of the jumpers or scuttlers.

The bugs that make me go eeewwww are earwigs, house centipedes and potato bugs, only when they gather in the thousands under bags of mulch I'm putting in the garden. Writhing masses of bugs covering the ground 2x3feet is kinda disturbing, I think.

I have to wonder if I'm the only person who thought it got a lot LESS creepy when the turtle turned into a spider. I was worried that I would regret reading it over lunch when there was a turtle with a flappy shell... But giant spider, whew, what a relief.

Nope - I was the same. Creatures with bits hanging off freak me out in dreams because they have a nasty knack of coming apart in my hands.

I have to agree with you, Kodi... The thought of a turtle with an unhinged shell had my squick reflex going... but a giant spider wearing a turtle skin is much more bearable.

Sweet Jesus. I don't think I'd be able to sleep again for a week.

I'm not one of those "bugs are icky" types, but I do have a bit of a thing with spiders -- the whole Shelob sequence in RotK had me twitching like a jackrabbit on speed. I've had "ordinary object transforms into something unpleasant" dreams before, too, and they're just about the most unsettling I've ever experienced.

Blegh. I had a similar 'bug' dream my self today. Cept it involved an overstuffed laz-e-boy chair and my spiders were giant earwigs with lobster claws. Funfun. Frustration dreams are the worst.

GETEMOFFGETEMOFFGETEMOFF!!!! ;>

Eep. I quite like spiders/turtles, but a hybrid seems so.. sinister.

You should paint one. :)

Ahaha. Very amusing. Although I assume it wasn't so for you. ;D

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