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breeden
ursulav

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I should be working. Actually, I am working. However, I must interrupt my work to present the following appalling truth to the world.

Bottlecaps. I love 'em. I drink enough Coke to singlehandedly keep a third-world country oppressed, and some of my favorite candies are gummi cola and Bottlecaps, because they pander to this Cokelust of mine.

The problem is that the cola (or maybe root beer) flavored Bottlecaps are rare. I would open a pack, and start munching through them, and I'd frequently go through two or three mediocre grape or orange, and pick past far too many of the thoroughly disgusting cherry to get to the delicious brown cola ones.

Being a trusting and not overly paranoid soul, I always assumed that there were an even number of all the flavors, and that I was merely projecting the lack of brown Bottlecaps because those were the ones I wanted. There weren't more cherry, it just seemed that way because even one is too many.

Today, however, James suggested I simply dump the pack into a bowl, pick out the brown ones, and HE would eat the less desireable flavors. So I did. And that was when I uncovered the horrible truth.

Brown -- 4
Orange -- 5
Grape -- 7
Cherry -- 10

My god! There really ARE less brown ones! They've stuffed the tube with the noxious red death and withheld the desireable brown! I'm not crazy!

The world must be told.


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Wow, they still sell Bottlecaps where you are...lucky!

Ye gods! What a despicable act!

Perhaps they must sacrifice a percentage of the browns to Cthulmoo. (He has good taste in candy.)

I noticed that ages ago, and was quite disgruntled about it. The cola ones are the best, yet they are the rarest. Why do they even have the cherry ones, anyhow? Fake cherry is really really foul.

*tries to sneak in and steal off with the grape and orange ones*

Er, maybe most people are like me and can't stand the cola/root beer ones. Rest assured that if I were ever eating Bottlecaps in the same room as you, I'd give you all of mine.

I'd be delighted to trade my foul cherry bounty for 'em!

I'm reminded of the way I'm a good person to eat sushi specials with: it's always nice to have someone who will eat the octopus.

Obviously what the world needs it better networking solutions, so that people with candy needs such as your own can meet and live happily ever after, or at least, happily until the bottom of the box. Things such as The Pizza Arbiter have made a begining, but the effort thus far is sadly small. I mean if we're able to do things like publish books entirely as tattoos on people across the world, shouldn't we be able to organize better bottlecap eating?

It's an evil conspiracy to sell more candy. They know they can sell you tons of crap candy (of course it's sold by weight), which many people will just suffer through or discard in anticipation of the good stuff. It's sort of like the crust on bread (some folks I know pull it off before eating a sandwich), only the crusts of the candy world aren't the least bit relevant to production. They know that you must have the good flavor, so they give you less of it so the net is that you'll have to buy several bags of candy you don't even want to get your fix of cola.

I wonder if you could make the reds any less foul by chasing them with Coke...

Oddly, most of the time I get nothing but brown ones. Not that I'm complaining. Oh,and I think there are both rootbeer and cola flavored bottle caps. :)

I totally love Bottlecaps. And they're so evil for not putting more browns in.

Two Halloweens ago, I bought Bottlecaps and NO trick-or-treaters showed up at my door. Score! I get the Bottlecaps!

I always eat them in order. Purple, orange, red, browns. But after eating the yummy browns, I want another little packet of them. So I tear open another one. Occasionally there is only one brown in the little "Fun Pack."

It's a conspiracy.

This is why I go get bulk at the Freak Lunchbox in town. Rootbeer gummis by the pound. *snarf*

You wouldn't happen to live in Halifax/Dartmouth would you? Is it the one that's on Barrington street and is so brightly coloured that (if you're anything like me) are drawn to it magnetically even if there were no candy?? MMM I love that shop :9 I spend fortunes there... mmmm candy. There's just so much of it and it's so bright and colourful.

WHEEE Jesus and Freud action figures and I love that satan clock :3
Ignore me if I'm just ranting on about a different freak lunchbox candy store.

Yes! The eye-gougingly bright neon hole in the wall where you can get chocolate covered bugs and candy from South Africa. <3! Oooh and the Jelly Belly counter o__o

Yes, candy covered bugs! Have you tried them? They're actually rather good. My personall favourite is the pez wall, I love pez. I also love the fact that you can get the candies and brands your parents and grandparents would have gotten at their local candy shop when they were young'uns.

For anyone visiting the Halifax metro area in Nova Scotia you must go see the blinding, teeth decaying splendor that is the Freak Lunchbox.

I haven't tried the bugs yet :P I'm always going into get other things and my wallet gets sucked dry :B

It's probably the most expensive flavor to manufacture. They do the same thing with skittles - there's always tons of nasty orange ones :P

And never enough green!

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