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I must reproduce this, for sheer amusement. The following was posted to the Digger Forum
over at Graphic Smash, by one Jules:

NOTE: This has not been play-tested!

Nor am I willing to play-test it!

Nor have I really read through it carefully!

Nor am I really even a huge D20 system fan!

*+2 strength (biceps with feet!), +1 intelligence (smarter than yer hack'n'slashing half-orc barbarian), -2 charisma, -1 dexterity (claws pose a bit of a disadvantage there)
Small: As a Small creature, a wombat gains a +1 size bonus to Armor Class, a +1 size bonus on attack rolls, and a +4 size bonus on Hide checks, but she uses smaller weapons than humans use, and her lifting and carrying limits are three-quarters of those of a Medium character.
*Wombat base land speed is 20 feet
*Low-Light Vision: A wombat can see twice as far as a human in starlight, moonlight, torchlight, and similar conditions of poor illumination. She retains the ability to distinguish color and detail under these conditions.
*Automatic Languages: Common and Terran. Bonus Languages: Undercommon, Dwarven, Gnome, Gnoll, Celestial
*+4 racial bonus on saving throws against fear, charm, and illusion-based spells (Hmm... They didn't cut the gems that massive dragon has in its hoard as well as they might have. Hey, where did everyone just go?).
*Special charisma modifier: In normal circumstances, wombats' tend to let their plain speech and rough ways give them a bad impression, giving them their standard -2 charisma penalty. However, in non-verbal aspects, they are quite charismatic, being very cute: as such, if prevented from speaking, but somehow called upon to make a Charisma check, they actually have a +2 bonus relative to their default modifier. (for example, if a naïve human NPC comes across a prone, unconscious wombat, he'll think it's very cute (high charisma); once he treats the wombat and it regains consciousness, and starts saying things like "you cast a magical SPELL to heal me? Well no wonder the wound isn't healed proper!" the wombat's charisma drops back down to its default modifier.
*+2 racial bonus to Craft, Appraise, Profession, Knowledge (architecture and engineering), and Knowledge (Dungeoneering)
*AC counts as +3 if attacked from behind, due to armored rump.
*Special restriction: atheism. Wombats can never worship any deities. They aren't, strictly speaking, atheist, in that they believe gods exist. They do believe, though, that they're essentially always more trouble than they're worth.
*Special restriction: anti-magical. Wombats cannot wield magical weapons, nor can they use magic. Strictly speaking, all classes are permitted to them, but I wouldn't recommend playing a Wombat sorcerer. However, wombats have access to considerably greater technologies than most races, and this partially makes up for their lack of magic (for example, they can't cast "light" spells, but they can break out a glowstick). However, these can only be crafted by the wombat itself or bought in a wombat warren. (a special "advanced wombat equipment" list is needed now, I suppose.) Give a wombat a priceless Vorpal Sword, and your wombat's first response is to try to pawn it off to the nearest unsuspecting adventurer ASAP.
*They get five free feats: Diligent, Lightning Reflexes, Endurance, and Martial Weapon Proficiency: picks, and unarmed strike (as with monks, owing to claws)

Next up--Wombat: The Tunnelling!

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I like the magic thing myself--I figure it's more of a cultural aversion than anything else, so a wombat COULD become a wizard, they'd just feel really weird about it and the other wombats would be rather appalled. (It's not wrong so much as just in very poor taste.)

That's kind of what I'd figured, and also the reason I bumped up the Charisma penalty even more—no Wombat sorcerors. Natural talent ain't happening, they've gotta study it, which makes the cultural aversion that much more pervasive.

So what's with the butt thing, anyway? Do they actually use it for defense, or for offense, or both? And just how well-armored is it? I've already spotted a few things I'll need to fix, so if there's going to be a Wombat v2.1, I might as well get input from God Empress of Wombats. *grin*

*grin* A wombat butt is basically a thick hide shield covered with extremely stiff bristles. According to the wombat rehabilitator I talk to, there's evidence that they can beat in a predator's skull with their rump against the wall of the tunnel. It's a tough butt. They use it primarily defensively, going headfirst into a tunnel and blocking it with the rump, which evidentally is enough to deter a fair number of predators.

Gadzooks! Guess the +2 armor and 1d3 slam attack are right in there, then. Which means ECL+1, absolutely.

It's official, folks: Wombats are inherently superior to dwarves.

Which I gather is an in-joke. Am I a clever insider yet? :D

I do sincerely hope you've got Digger books on sale at FC, Ursula. Because I hate subscribing to online services. And at this rate, it's seeming like I'm gonna be cornered into it, butt-first...

Well, I won't be at FC this year, alas--the move came up and nuked my plans--but hey, maybe by next year, Digger books will be in print! (It could happen! Maybe!)

Yeah, someone else just told me that. What I get for skimming through the "Ursula is frazzled from the move" posts, d'urg. Was looking forward to giving you money, too! (It's hard for me to do that when it's not cash in person, because my brain always kicks in when I'm typing my credit card number.)

However, I was serious about bribing you for custom doodles. Soon as the band's got some more money, we're going to want some good merchandising images. Y'know, T-shirts and stickers and junk. I've got Matt Harpold doing all our "serious" art, you're the perfect counterpart for the cartoony side. :D

*grin* I'd love to! Drop a line sometime, I'm sure we can work something out...

Dwarves and Wombats

Digger was rather critical of Dwarves in an early strip. The text goes (I hope this is within the limits of fair use!):

Digger: You just don't magick somebody's tunnel! It's dangerous! It's rude! A tunnel ought to be build with hard work, know-how, and the occassional bracing timper. If you try shoring it up with magic, bad thing happpen. Walls collapse and the entire tunnel gets de-stabilized. And you never know when it'll be the wrong phase of the moon and the whole thing'll come down.

Like dwarves. They'd dig out a mountain, and if the stone wouldn't hold, they'd just slap a spell on it. But the only way to keep it stable was to keep packing magic on, and eventually they couldn't hold it together, and they'd leave. You go in an abandoned dwarfhold now, and it's huge, shafts, galleries, absolutely rotten with magic. You have to go roped together in the dark, and you can't make a noise, or the whole mountain will come down.

Ganesh Statue: One would presume that mining with magic is inadviseable, then.

Digger: Inadviseable?! It's BLOODY IRRESPONSIBLE, is what it is!

Re: Dwarves and Wombats

*grin* No problem, looks like fair use to me! (And thank you for reproducing it so that I didn't have to type it out or something...)

Re: Dwarves and Wombats

And you never know when it'll be the wrong phase of the moon and the whole thing'll come down.

And I suppose it must seem especially random if they're living deep undergound, and don't get to look at the moon much. You'd have to rely on charts and tables and such to figure out if the tunnels are safe or not, and all those fiddly little numbers are so easy to copy down wrong... and... and... I can see this big chart thing posted someplace visible, with little squiggly drawings of tunnels and moon markings and whatnot, like a subway map. Yeah.

there's evidence that they can beat in a predator's skull with their rump against the wall of the tunnel.

Wow ... wombats sound pretty hard-ass.


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