Apparently this all owes to the Russian underworld, or possibly the government or possibly that bit where the Venn diagrams overlap. Such is life. I promise, you haven't missed much--I am home again but badly jet-lagged, and a kid just showed up on the doorstep addressing me by name and asking to speak to Kevin (also by name) about educational opportunities. I'm pretty sure he was selling encyclopedias. He kept dropping the names of our neighbors. I wanted to tell him that this wasn't making me inclined to buy encyclopedias, it was freakin' me the hell out.
This is perhaps the mildest form of the creepiness of unearned intimacy, but it was REALLY off-putting. I know a seminar somewhere probably told him to use my name as much as possible and display knowledge of us all to seem like a local, but it came off as "Lock the doors, crazy stalker-puppy in town." But I never think to say these things at the time.
Seriously, though, don't ask a woman if there's any signs of when her boyfriend's home, like a car in the driveway. Don't. Do. This. It Is A Bad Idea. If you have to ask why this is a bad idea...well, I weep for society.
Will be locking all doors and sleeping with sword in easy reach tonight. If you find me dead with an encyclopedia wedged in my mouth...it's been real.
...y'know, I might call the cops anyway just to give 'em a heads-up on that...
ETA: Called the cops. The Sheriff got back to me ten minutes later to say that yeah, they're legit, they're selling something, they come in every year and the police field calls the whole time because apparently they creep people the hell out. There was a definite air that if he had his way, they would not being doing this in his town, goddamnit, but he had no authority to prevent it. So that's a good thing.
ETA2: Wrote the company most likely to be behind it a nasty note. I didn't mention that one of the questions was "So I hear Kevin has elementary age kids!" which got the "WHAT?" and the blank stare. While that's a horrifically creepy question in its own right, it does make me think less about robbery and more about the oh my god you have received the worst sales training on EARTH. (I said "They live with their mother," on the principle that at least I wouldn't have company in the wood chipper.) Still. Blargh. Ugh. Nasty jolt for an evening.
On the bright side, they finally delivered my luggage, which spent some time in New Jersey without me.