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breeden
ursulav

It Warms A Paladin's Heart...

Today, as we faced the Lawful Evil lich trying to get us to recover his stolen phylactery, the lich (Percival) asked the fatal question "What do they TEACH you in paladin school?!"

Rooster didn't even get to open his mouth. The entire party jumped in.

"Not to trust orphans!"
"To burn things and sow them with salt!"
"Hand out pamphlets!"
"...something about demon nipples!"

Rooster wiped a tear from his eye. "Awwwwww....you guys paid attention!" (Really, I felt the love!) 

Some minutes later, Rooster conceived his Extremely Clever Plan. ("I have a 16 in Diplomacy! I can write laws!") While the team heads off to fight vampires and recover the phylactery, his Temple is pushing through legislation to make it illegal to return a phylactery to an evil creature within twenty miles of the city. (Yes, I actually wrote up the law.) The lich is Lawful Evil, ergo...

Our poor GM made many hand gestures. I didn't understand most of them. Much of the rest of the session was spent talking to guild lawyers and attempting to summon grassroots support in the bar. The rogue wanted to lobby the lich's HOA. All notions of combat soon fell by the wayside. 

Also, our ranger attempted to interrogate a rat. It didn't go well. Maybe next week...


fire. interrogating a rat works best when done over an open flame :::nods:::

This is beautiful. Thanks for continuing to post these gems from your campaign.

I had a bard interrogate a Martian bat, once. The rogue was only looting corpses at the time, so I had her throw dice every now and then for search checks, and gave her a script, which she read in a Welsh accent. It was pretty marvelous, actually. The Martian bats were diurnal, b/c the atmosphere's very thin and it gets cold at night, and we had a good bit of confusion about sun-come/sundown. It was pretty marvelous. (I don't know that the bard enjoyed it as much as the rogue and I, but she wasn't unhappy, either.)

I LOVE Rooster. And I feel such pain for your poor, beleaguered GM. Stay strong, Kevin!