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breeden
ursulav

Well, crap.

Apparently I need to submit a hi-rez author photo to the Hugo committee for the ceremony, where I guess they flash all our photos on a wall or something.

This is kind of a problem.

There’s a reason I use the painting my mother did of me as my author bio. I look like a tattooed hippopotamus to the camera. (I am reliably informed that I am rather less so in person, because I am extremely animated most of the time, but you freeze frame that sucker and the results Do Not Flatter.)

The only really good photo of me ever taken was about an inch high and Kevin got it on his cel phone at a Mexican restaurant. There’s an adequate one that a friend took ages past, which is what Penguin uses, which I suppose I will wind up using, as they want it by Saturday and I have no real chance of setting up a pro photo shoot by then.  (And YES, I have been thinking for months I need to find someone to take some pro shots of me and get the bloody thing done so I’ve got something flattering to use for the book jackets, but I didn’t and now I pay the price and Kevin says I’m not allowed to turn down the nomination because they want a photo.)

ARRRGGH.


ETA: Let me add that this isn’t a body image issue, per se—I gots no problem with mirrors. I pass them and go “Awwwww, yeah!” as often as not.  I’m not a small mammal by any stretch, but large chunks of me are built like the proverbial brick dollhouse, and I’m not complaining.

Sadly lots of things that are fine on a moving, gesticulating individual go really bad if you take a photo under all but the most aggressively controlled lighting.

ETA2: A buddy of Kevin's has been enlisted to try and help. I will buy him any dinner he asks. Meanwhile, checking to see if I can just use art at the Hugos.

Originally published at Tea with the Squash God. You can comment here or there.


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I also don't photograph well even in the best circumstance. Facebook and pic tagging are NOT my friends.

The worst, though? RACE PHOTOS. Why anyone, ever, thought taking pictures of people running frocking marathons was a good idea I will never know. I mean, I've got one or two that are just the perfect, both-feet-off-the-ground no jiggle shots (and I love them. They are like rare and precious jewels. Or unicorns.) but the vast vast majority are taken at that exactly least flattering spot in my stride where all of gravity is pushing on me or pulling on me and it's all just jiggle and painface and horribleness. And photogs who lie on the ground and shoot up at runners should be shot on sight. Or kicked.

You could just go for it and submit the absolute worst pic you can find. Have fun finding something truly, laughably bad. And then enjoy how surprised everyone is when they see that you are, in fact, quite lovely. :) Promise low, deliver high.

Ditto on facebook. Thankfully the one good thing to come out of the timeline monstrosity is the option to require approval of anything you are tagged in before it is submitted to your timeline.

Ugh, I never thought of running photos. What a disaster.

My favorite photos me cycling aren't even really of me -- they're of my shadow. My bike buddy and I took some while riding at the right time of day, so we have two perfect silhouettes cycling along.

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