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Connective Tissue

I am prone to writing scenes at the end of works in progress and then filling in connective tissue later, if at all. So far it’s going well–got from point C to point D, and point A to point B, and now if I can just get B and C to line up, we’re good. Although so far the connective tissues is a lot of talking-about-what-we-are-going-to-do and not many swashes have been buckled, so I don’t know how that’s going to hold up. May have to have somebody fall into a pit. You can never go wrong with pits.

And I think I found about 700 words that are just plain maundering around and need to die, though I’ll keep ‘em around at the end in case I find the hole they want to fit in.


Best lines so far:

“You’re wanted by a crime lord!” said Caliban.

“Not that it’s any of your business,” snapped Slate. “And that was years ago! He’s probably forgotten.”

“Oh no,” said Brenner. “Dearie, dearie me, no. You don’t forget being jilted at the altar because you just handed the priest a warrant for your arrest on the charges of horse-buggering.”

“I am curious,” said Learned Edmund, “as to how you actually managed it. There are seals on a warrant, as I understand it, and those are kept entirely by the judiciary.” He steepled his fingers. “Even assuming that the entire thing was prepared in advance, you would still need access to the seals—“

Slate’s grin broke through, and she beamed at Edmund. “Thank you. I have been waiting for five years for somebody to appreciate that.”



And I finished the illustrations for Dragonbreath 9. (pant, pant, pant.)

Wordcount: 5700

Originally published at Tea with the Squash God. You can comment here or there.


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recently discovered that one of my ancestors has hung as a horse-thief. Not that I was surprised.

My first read-through of that I somehow completely missed the "-thief" bit...

I decline to comment on the family jewels.

Dude! One of mine was transported for the same thing, I think!

Or maybe it was knocking up the maid. Can't recall.

No, that was mine that was caught on his wedding night with the kitchen girl.

My mother always thought it was cute that her father's side of the family descends from cattle rustlers and her mother's side comes from a reservation (infuriatingly, only anecdotal evidence that we're actually related to any tribe, though), because cowboys and Indians. Personally, I think she was criminally negligent in waiting until after her brother had dies to mention that he'd gotten into legal trouble at a young age, was told he could join the military or go to jail, and ended up being taught Russian and sent to spy on the Soviets until he went section eight. I think my uncle makes for a much better story than my great-great grandparents.

Well, now I know how to dislodge a stubborn cat from my lap- read Ursula's posts and laugh uproariously. :D

(Deleted comment)
As a law student, I have special love for the first name "Learned." (See e.g. Learned Hand).

Maybe it makes more sense in context but the third line is a little confusing with all those yous and yours. WHO handed what to whom and WHO got arrested?

Er... yes.
Slate is a SHE... kinda hard to bugger horses without... help?

Slate being female does not clarify the sentence. It still reads as if the crime lord handed the priest the warrant for his own arrest. Maybe if it was "someone" who handed the warrant instead of "you", then I think it would be clear from context that the someone was Slate. Although I think it would be even funnier if "your bride" handed the warrant, as that would imply that Slate had gone as far as agreeing to marry the crime lord before publicly humiliating him in this way.

This is the way I was sort of leaning but ...

Actually, the crime lord IS the one who handed the priest his own warrant. So it does work in context, I guess--just needs the context! *grin*

"His own warrant" still does not perfectly clarify why "your arrest" should not be "his arrest". But I suppose that's what buying the book is for.

The crime lord handed the priest the priest's warrant? Or the crime lord's warrant? I'm still not quite clear on the "his own".

Indeed, though that was entirely conversational. It still took me three times reading through to realize that Slate had forged the warrant, and that the crime lord was the one who would remember handing it to the priest -- probably in lieu of a marriage license!

Now *THIS* would be what I would expect!

"You don’t forget being jilted at the altar because you just handed the priest a warrant for your [own] arrest on the charges of horse-buggering."

My question there would be why would the priest be the local law enforcer, but then, why not?

P.S. Don't mind us, we're having fun!

I read it as the crime lord handing the warrant to the priest because it had been substituted for the more traditional document by the bride in question who then used it as an excuse to bolt.

Funny either way.

It still took me three times reading through to realize that Slate had forged the warrant

Part of the problem/solution may be that if you've read what comes before, you EXPECT that that's what she'd do. But failing that,

"Nobody forgets getting jilted at the altar because he just handed the priest a warrant...", perhaps?
[Using the impersonal third would probably be still more unambiguous, but funny as it would be, I don't think Brenner would say

(sorry, sorry, couldn't resist)

oh, good, i wasn't the only one who got to that point and went "huh?"

I had the same problem. Needs another pronoun besides 'you'.

However, must find these books!

Edited at 2012-11-02 11:29 pm (UTC)

Much love. ^_^ I always appreciate a good scoundrel.

“Thank you. I have been waiting for five years for somebody to appreciate that.”

I have been watching the Sherlock TV series. That... primes the pump to really appreciate the sentiment behind that line. I mean, it's a great line, and after watching "brainy is the new sexy," it's an awesome-tastic line.

(The you/your bits in the sentence a couple above, about the horse-buggering, are a little confusing. I presume they'll straighten out with a bit more context, but in case they don't... (Yeah, yeah, I have an editor hat. Sorry.))

Ok, I giggled. I giggled rather a lot.

Those are indeed most excellent lines ;)

Hey, quick question -- since you know a lot of authors and publishing types . . . do you know of any print-on-demand outfits who are willing to print erotica? naamah_darling and sargon999 have run into a nasty problem -- they ran a successful Indiegogo campaign to get one of their novels printed, but their publisher ($5/book) has unexpectedly balked at the last minute (seriously, a pop-up window as you're submitting the manuscript, after there is nothing on the website to indicate they have a problem with erotica?), and they're kind of over a barrel because of it.

I know you're not in the POD market, but would you be at all willing to boost the signal, please? I'm hoping that one of your friends or contacts might have a suggestion for them.

Thanks much, and any help you might be able to offer would be deeply appreciated!


-- Andi <3

You need an illustration count to go with your word count.
Or some sort of conversion factor, like, "A Picture Is Worth A Thousand Words", or something.


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