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First Day of Christmas

On the first day of Christmas, my true love gave to me…

…a replacement for a Bradford pear tree!


Wretched trees, Bradford pears. They stink like dying tuna, they fall apart in snow or wind (the official reason is, I kid you not, “weak crotches”) and the bloody things sucker like the devil if they get into a suckering mood. Landscapers plant them because they grow really fast and look impressive very quickly, and their flowers really are spectacular. Then they self-destruct at about the twenty-year mark. Not a good plant.

You could replace it with many, many nice things. The commenters have some great suggestions. Around here, you can't beat dogwoods.

Originally published at Squash's Garden. You can comment here or there.

Hard to appreciate how pretty the flowers look. They smell so bad.

I hate bradford pears with a burning passion! >:-{

Then why are you replacing it?

And that heritage seed catalogue - oh so no fair! I'm not even a gardener and I'm drooling over some of the entries. I got stuck on Amaranths - I *want* some! And carrots. And heirloom tomatoes. Potatoes. ...

:: pause :: :: shudder ::

I ordered the paper catalogue.

Well, ideally you'd replace it with something BETTER.

...the hamster may not be that bright.

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The guy we bought our house from planted one in the front yard before we bought it. it's a charming little thing, it'll be interesting to see what the next two decades bring.


Usually death (for the Bradford Pear, I am sure you will be fine), but it will look nice on its way out.

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Why not a pear tree that produces pears! Or a crabapple - just as spectacular, but fragrant, and you can make jelly from the fruit if you're crazy enough to do it! Birds love 'em, too.

Or even a nice heritage apple, like the Ashmead's Kernel? (A rather unique apple, that tastes like a crisp pear. But looks like a faded and battered cricket ball.)

Ah! These would be the ones we had in our front yard as kids, that we called ornamental cat pee trees.

You know it's spring when the fish trees are blooming! Stinky, stinky fish trees.

Just don't replace them with redtips, who have their roots in hell.

A tree that is really beautiful if you give it full sun and prune wisely is what we call grandaddy grey beard, also fringe tree, but is officially Chionanthus virginicus. It's not a perfect tree, but I think it's native, local, and for sure is gorgeous for two weeks a year. And another month if you wrap lights around it this time of year.

Edited at 2012-12-15 01:46 am (UTC)

I hope you'll forgive my rudeness, but are Bradford pears the legendary semen tree?

urg, like poplars! My parents, when they built their house when I was 5, planted poplars.

Now they have very nice spruces there. And have for at least 10 years. Much nicer.

So THAT'S what those things are. They're ALL over campus.

I've been trying to decide on a Kentucky Yellowwood. I mean ohio *borders* Kentucky and I'm not in the snow belt, it's not a crime against native trees, right?

The native tree police won't hear from me about it!

We had one of those removed a year or so ago after learning that it was likely to start dropping limbs, and then our neighbor confirmed that it had in fact done so sometime before we bought the place. We replaced our with a nice raised bed garden plot and solar panels on the formerly shaded roof. :)

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Whoever lived here before apparently loved poplars. The whole eastern edge of the plot was full of them when we moved in, plus one in the middle of the lawn leaning sharply towards the house. I have cut down most of them now. Just this autumn I cut down the biggest one to give space for a beautiful young norway maple growing in its shade.