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breeden
ursulav

Curse You, Brain!

So I decided I need to make a resin head for this thing, and I’m gonna start by making a sporran, because the stole involves too much material and I want a dry run first with the head design.

And then I was like “I need to sit down and sculpt a head!”

And my brain went “Nope. Don’t think so.”

“But you have to,” I said. “I can’t do this without you, brain.”

“Nope,” said brain. “Not today. Not feeling it.”

“Screw you!” I cried. “I am a REAL ARTIST! That means I power through this crap and don’t get hung up on muses and inspiration and “not feeling it!”

“Yeah, good luck with that,” said the brain, picking up a copy of Craniums Quarterly.

“But I’m a professional! I came to work! I will sit in front of this thing until I make good art!”

“Go ahead, if you don’t mind making total crap and then curling into fetal position,” said brain, thumbing through its magazine. “I’d get the potato chips now, though. You’ll need them later when the weeping passes.”

“You’re my brain!” I shouted, mad with power. “You have to do as I say!”

The brain gave me a long, level look over the top of the magazine. The articles had headlines like Making the Most of Your Ganglia and 37 Secrets the Cortex Loves (But Will Never Tell You!)

“You sure that’s how you want to play it?” it said. “You do know I control the motor functions.”

“But—”

THWACK.

“Stop hitting yourself…” said brain, turning the page.

“I’m trying!”

And that is why I am not getting art done today.

Originally published at Tea with the Squash God. You can comment here or there.



I have much the same problem, only it's with my brain trying to convince me that I need to stay asleep instead of, you know, getting up and going to work.

"Mmh.. time to wake up."
"nope. Sorry. We're sleeping."
"No.. look, totally awake."
"I don't think so... look! We're dreaming about sexy women holding pliers!"
"... why pliers?"
"Does it matter? You're back asleep. More sleepy time."
"Noo.. waking up now... there's the alarm again."
"Nope. I hit the snooze button."
"Dammit.. no.. up..."

I want a sporran with Joe Camel's face on it, after all what do you think it's supposed to represent down there?

"Making the Most of your Ganglia"

I want to read this article!!!

And I so know where this is coming from - time to play with the cat or garden or housework - Ironing is a good way to just zone out and get something useful done, and I usually have a big pile of it at any given point in time because I always avoid it.

Learned the hardway that when the brain is not in the mood then no art or learning happens :)

Well it's easy to see who is in charge there!:¬D

When my brain doesn't want to cooperate it goes off to play video games, yours is far more intellectual.

I now have a mental image of a "failed" sporran that looks not unlike a brain.

Failing to channel her daily artistic impulse into sculpture, Ursula instead tries short fiction, and succeeds admirably.



I want a subscription to Craniums Quarterly. Or perhaps to write an article for them. "Amygdalas of the rich and famous."

My brain, when it goes on strike, finds it a stretch to read the back of a cereal box.

Who knew being a Real Artist(tm) was so much like writing term papers in school? ;)

If the analogy holds, inspiration should hit right around 1 a.m.

All my sympathy.

no, that's when you get the uncontrollable urge to write Doctor Who fanfiction.

(And the beauty of it is, I was writing it with Jon Pertwee (3rd doctor) and Jo Grant, but it's STILL TRUE.)

Edited at 2013-03-15 08:41 pm (UTC)

So glad to know my brain isn't the only one to engage in these acts of explicit defiance!

... This might be evil. But in that middle ground between stitching a head and sculpting a head, there's needle-felting a head.

It has cathartic stabbing as a founding principle? >.>

My friend, Aussie Simon Imagin, wrote this... I wanted to share. It made me laugh. I hope it at least gives you a smile today.
The Wombat Trap
by Simon

Wombats they are simple fellers
Like all grazing furred hole-dwellers
All they like's the simple life
Somewhere to graze and find a wife,
Prove their manhood, punch some conks,
Test the patch for future bonks.

That's why one day I devised
A place away from prying eyes
A small club called 'The Wombat Trap'
We've built the building from their crap
Which seems to mostly come out square
So leave your hole, I'll meet you there.

Tried to post it to your FB but it didn't work. :) Better here, anyway.

Did you want to do more of a flattened stuffed head, a la fox stole, or a fully stuffed type of 3D head? Flat would be pretty easy, and you could use a zipper as the mouth or put it underneath the neck part if you didn't want it to show much.

The weakly electric fish biologist who e-mailed in October (Sam)

Context: My e-mail about cuttlefish deception (just a pdf of the original article) was on Travel Interlude #2, and you asked what kind of weakly electric fish I study.

We work with the South American featherfin knifefish, mostly. They're related to electric eels and some popular kinds of aquarium fish (black ghost knives and brown ghosts). The lab had some electric eels before I started my PhD, but they got sick and died. Upsetting! There's still a 1' long chunk of an eel in the lab freezer, which was interesting to run across when not expecting it.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9bk35q5z3ug Here's a video of our fish spawning. The buzzing noise is their electric signals, converted into sound by modified amps. For reasons that baffle us, the fish love to spawn into plastic test tubes suction cupped to their aquarium wall. They really like test tubes.
The male is the one with the longer tail.

Edited at 2013-03-17 11:32 pm (UTC)