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One Down…

I spent today in the bowels of the beast, by which I mean Amazon and Smashwords. Most of the Amazon time was spent trying to figure out how I tell it that I don’t want to be exclusive to Kindle and just hitting “Save” until it told me it was in review and I couldn’t poke anything any more. I guess that’s how that works.

Theoretically the Goblin novella is up on Smashwords. I am looking at it and it looks like a thing that is up there.

I am frightened.

So as I understand it, Smashwords is mulling it over now and I guess they decide whether or not it meets the standards for kicking out to iBooks (which is the major reason to go through Smashwords at all) and I have no idea how long that takes.

Meanwhile, Amazon is also mulling it over and theoretically it will be up in about twelve hours or so.

And….err….that’s what I have done.


So I guess that’s me having self-published the first T. Kingfisher book.


So that’s that?

Anyway, if Smashwords is the thing you use, I guess you can buy a copy here. And I will try and do a big self-confident LOOK AT MY SHINY NEW BOOK RELEASE thing like a real author who wears pants and everything when all the formats are up and running.  (Please do not ask for an ETA. I don’t know either. I am starting to think this was all madness.)

ETA: It thinks it is live on Amazon, but in a horrifying twist of fate, the front end is live and buyable, while the backend thinks it hasn’t been published yet, so I can’t fix the big format bug that duplicates a chapter! ARRRRRRRGHGHH! If you bought it in the last few minutes, um…I’m very sorry. It will be fixed as soon as Amazon lets me!


(Incidentally, if you find any freakish formatting errors that destroy the reading experience, PLEASE tell me here, and I’ll do what I can. I can’t fix presentation on some of the weirder formats (Sony e-readers, looking in your direction!) but this is the sort of thing I’d like to know!)

ETA: AAAAARRGHGGHHHHH!  If you bought it before, um, 2:30, you’ll need to get the new version, because GODDAMN SCRIVENER DIE IN A FIRE duplicated a chapter. *sobbing*

Originally published at Tea with the Squash God. You can comment here or there.

I am the one on the left.

It's nothing personal, mind you.

[thinks back to own first self epubbing experience, two years ago]

Yeah, that sounds about right.

Um... entirely not a wolf of any variety ... and it's not particularly freakish, but it is somewhat disconcerting that the .RTF version on smashwords goes into small caps at irregular intervals.

Thaaaaat is a new one on me. Hmm. They don't even have a section on that being possible in the formatting guide. I will see what I can find, but I can't promise I'll be able to fix that?

*Looks at smashwords HTML preview*

Spots tyop on page 7 (a notably that probably should be a notable) and that Chapter 2 is repeated as chapter 3.

Otherwise had troble stopping giggling. :D

Oh, fuck my life, really?

Just treat the wolves the same way you treat people circling around your table at a convention. Gently guide them towards buying some stickers.

You think that's fun, wait until you try to get Amazon's POD service set up. I'm still trying to figure that one out.

I am about to read the EPUB version. I will keep an eye out for errors.

As a reader I really, really appreciate the effort you've gone to to put this up on Smashwords. :)

Is there a central place to report typos without spamming the comments? I have found one instance of "Corp" instead of "Corps" so far.

Speaking as a technologist, it is amazing how much rage modern technology can bring out in even the most mild-mannered of people. I think it's something to do with there being Rules that you must Follow that are not spelled out anywhere, and when you break them things just sort of fail to work right with at best a cryptic error message telling you what went wrong.

Exactly. It's like being the rat in the maze and nobody's telling you why you keep getting the electric shock.

I cannot tell you what the problem is, but the MOBI version that I just bought from Smashwords doesn't work with the Kindle document delivery service when I try to email it to my Kindle. The error email I got is not particularly helpful, but I can forward it to you if you'd like to read it (just let me know what email address).

I'm about to try manually moving the file to the Kindle and see if that works, but I have to go dig up the cable from whereever I put it when I was unpacking. Will update and let you know.

(If that doesn't work either, I've got an iPad and will read the EPUB version there, or read the HTML version on my computer. I am sanguine about this experience, having seen other friends experience ebook-conversion hell!)

That's interesting (in a bad way...) Have you gotten Smashword files transferred successfully before? Since I just upload a .doc and they do the .mobi conversion, there's a limit to how much troubleshooting I can do on that part, but if you want to forward it to ursulav (at) gmail.com I can at least stare at the unhelpful code and shake my head!

Yup, that was an Ursula Vernon book alright! It was a fun read, in the way that the older Discworld books were before they started getting all metaphysical. Thanks for the new book.

I'M EXCITED :DDD I have a kindle so I'll wait for amazon as per your ETA.

(Deleted comment)
Download, in EPub format. With duplicated chapter, which is the smallest of lacunae.


Enjoyed, enormously. You really, really do not do the expected, which is terrific. You surprised, intrigued and amused me many times over in a relatively small space. One vote for this as a resounding success.

Not like you need anything else to freak out about, but I wonder what sends it to Google Play to be bought natively in their system?

(I'm planning to buy the epub and then upload it to my Google Play library, but I wondered).

I don't have an E-reader, so I will have to wait on this. In the meantime...

*offers Ursula several cow femurs, already broken in half*


B lent me his eReader. So, I can lend it to you (after the 3rd of the month). Also, technically, I think any computer can be an eReader. You just download the PDF and read it.