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So I am super-duper jetlagged and back from BayCon (great con, more on that later) and I think "I'll go photograph some moths! I haven't done it in days!" and then there's a neat moth on the porch ceiling so I go get a chair from the house and I'm on the chair and then there is this almighty SMACK and a gigantic luna moth comes careening into the light and begins battering itself wildly against the door and the wall and it's the size of a bird and every time it hits the wall it's going SMACK! SMACK! and I'm going "crap! I have to turn off the porch light and save it!" and then the moth is suddenly IN MY FACE and it was like having an angry chartreuse bird go for my eye and I know they don't have mouths but that kinda doesn't matter when bigass green wings are slapping you in the head and thank god I had gotten off the chair because I'm flailing and hopping and then it drops to the ground and I'm like "OH NO I CAN'T STEP ON THE LUNA MOTH" and I'm on one foot and my hair is in my face and I don't dare put the other one down because this bird-sized lunatic green thing is flopping around my ankles and I can't see well enough and if I stomp on it I will seriously have to do major penance, like going to a moth-god confessional kind of penance, and then thank god the moth takes off before I fall over and it begins hurling itself wildly at the porch light again and I cannot let something as glorious as a luna moth batter itself to death on my porch so I fling the door open, manage to duck as it comes for me, stop the cat from bolting and kill the porch light so that the moth can hopefully settle and recover itself.

I left the chair to fend for itself. There will be spiders on it by dawn, I'm sure.

You are awesome.
You should write books. ;)

This is epic, and very vivid.

Oh, moth. Why is your deathwish?

I haven't seen a luna since I was a kid, and definitely never that up close and personal (...thankfully). They are glorious.

Edited at 2014-05-28 02:54 am (UTC)

The hot new paranormal shapeshifer romance -- "SPIDERS BY DAWN!!!"

(Also, my boyfriend just read the "You should write some books" comment aloud to me, I said "Maybe after she's taken some downers," and he said "NO RIGHT NOW ABSOLUTELY NO EXCEPTIONS.")

OverlyExcitedUrsulaVoice may be a Thing, apparently ;)

(And, oh man -- so much sympathy for the AAAGGHGHH WHY IN MY FACE issue, while trying to save the life of a panicking wild creature. I used to rescue luna moths from our pool in North Carolina, and those suckers could get to the size of a dinner plate. Not to mention that they have no sense of self-preservation!)

-- A <3

Now I have an image of some designer called Dawn stenciling decorative spiders on upholstery and wallpaper and various other household surfaces...

I've had moments with moths that started with, "Pretty!" And escalated to, "Pretty!" Being in a much higher and more concerned register as they came for me. Something about moths to the face mean I repeat whatever the last word out my mouth was, and that's often not a good thing.

So amused that I had to read it out loud to my best friend, who was also amused. =D

See, this is what gets left out of the wildlife documentaries!

Pretty much the essence of SQUEEFLAIL!

Yeah.. that was me the other night, if you add in half a dozen cats who also wanted to 'play' with the humongous moth! [I have no idea what it was, other than in my kitchen and hard to catch.]

Our Aspie kitten is still semi-hopefully staring at the light occasionally... she'll probably be doing that for a few days in the off-chance it comes back.

As I was reading, I was watching that happen in my brain. Animated in your style.
It was awesome.

Happy Mothday ... Birthday, I mean.
May you no more be troubled by attacks of moth hysteria!

===|==============/ Level Head

Most glorious run-on sentence ever!

(I think it's as long as the one in The Sun Also Rises that I actually measured at 2.5 paperback pages! But far more exciting.)

Breathe! That was a lovely - and hilarious - sentence!

Happy birthday!