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breeden
ursulav

Spam Migration

I was driving home and saw a can of spam, sitting forlornly in the road near my house. (Indeed, I drove over it, although it passed unharmed under the center of the truck.)

This is a highway, not terribly remote, so I didn't get out to rescue the spam. I can only assume that the great Spam Migration is occurring early this year, despite the cold.

ETA: Have I mentioned that I love you all?


It's usually wise to ignore spam.

Great being a relative term, as the various Spam herds are much diminished from what they once were.

It isn't really a surprise, given that one of their major symbiotic species, the American domestic Nauga has been nearly hunted to extinction for their hides, as well as losing the vast majority of their preferred grazing territory, to the shift away from Shag carpeting.

(The invention of the Lazy-Boy recliner has also been blamed for much of the Nauga's decline as American furniture breeders followed the public's fickle tastes.)

Still, one can still occasionally find an elderly Nauga still in its accustomed place at the feet of its equally decrepit master. Both a bit tatty and musty smelling, but old friends nonetheless, the Shag rug grazed to stubble and fuzz along the Nauga's usual resting spots.

Edit: Tried to add a link to a photo of a Wild Nauga, but it got tagged as spam, so no link :(

That is ironic indeed.

Monty Python's Spam song comes to mind.

You do know about that, don't you?

Perchance it was the Lone Spam, living on the fringes and rejoicing in her freedom to travel the open road unburdened by low expectations.

It could be the one lonely, disabled one left behind after the Pied Piper had led all the others away.

Cold is necessary for spam migration, otherwise -- like the zombies they so resemble -- they start to go worse.

The one you saw was probably the sole survivor after a raid of Hawaiian grocers.

I blame global warming. Spam's natural habitat is Hawaii.

Edited at 2015-01-12 03:52 pm (UTC)

someone's Emergency can of Spam escaped the pantry! LOL

I grew up dirt poor and lived like a college student for way too many years and I still keep an Emergency can of Spam and a parcel of Ramen Noodles in my cupboard 'just in case'. Why I don't replace those with better rations I don't know. LOL

Now that you've asked, you can hie yourself down to the store and do so.

Our old Jeep Grand Cherokee has developed a problem in this -23 windchill winter where the latch on the hatch isn't catching. Twice now it's opened while driving home from the grocery store and we've lost stuff. Luckily on back roads and not highways.

Check your local missing persons reports for anyone who is cute, attracted to anime and manga, loves bunnies, and seems naive, aka a "symp" or sympathiser to the Bunnies' cause. There's a reason the devilbunnies don't like to talk about what happens to a Symp Processed After Missions.

While it's not considered unusual for one or two cans to strike out on their own to scout the migration route for the main herd [flock? cluster? tinning?], this 'is' a bit early in the season. Being naturally armored as they are, they can withstand the drops in temperature better then the females of the species who are smaller and encased only in plasticized foil wrap.

It's truly one of Mother Nature's rare and wonderful gifts to see the first cans quietly slip over the ridge line and start moving down into the fog kissed valleys at dawn.

Edited at 2015-01-12 12:41 am (UTC)

What is the effect of climate change on the great Spam migration? Will a few weeks make a difference to Spam's predators?

Perhaps it was on its way to get help for the rest of the snow-bound Dinner Party.

You 'did' mean 'dinner party' and not 'Donner Party', correct?

This whole thread is just awesome!

Or that was a rogue Spam, wandering off on its own, to have many adventures unknown to the rest of Spam-kind.

That has it's possibilities as well. They are very group oriented and it would be entirely possible that one who has become old and sick wandered off by itself to draw predictors away from the group and to die alone. To prove this theory, it may be necessary to return to the carcass and perform a necropsy on the remains.

Or at least check the expiration date on the bottom of the container...