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Tour Day 2 & 3

300 kids in a cafeteria make a lot of noise. Ate at something in Austin called "Torchy's." Very tasty. Place in the hotel here in Decatur sells Pork Belly Buns. They are amazing.

Austin is full of giant agaves. Decatur is full of trees that are dropping--apricots, maybe? Orange fruit of some kind.

Best question from kid today was a very serious young man who asked "Did someone mind-control those monkeys? Their eyes were blue. That's mind-control, right?" There are no monkeys in any of our books.

Our driver today is named Harry and he used to be a Coke spy. This is a thing. They send out people to order Coke at restaurants where there have been complaints. They then surreptitiously take samples, returning three or four times, asking different waitstaff, ordering Coke or Coca-Cola, to see if there is a difference. Samples are sent to headquarters. If it is determined that they are selling a non-Coke product as Coke, they are sent a cease-and-desist for trademark infringement. Worst offender: Howard Johnson's.

And the people in the hotel room next to me just started having loud sex, so it's time to go to the bar.

ETA: I feel I must address the saga of the couple next door, because...well.

They were making some extraordinary noises, at about 4:30ish in the afternoon, and I eventually gave up and went down to the front desk, where I had a great conversation with a woman I will call Yolanda (not her real name but not too far off, who was a hero.) I will also remind my readers that I am in Georgia so all colloquialisms are reported as they happened.

ME: Hi! We are about to have a very awkward conversation!


ME: Are you ready?

HOTEL: I'm ready!

ME: Are you braced?

HOTEL: Let's do this!

ME: The couple in the room next to me is having incredibly loud sex.

HOTEL: Oh sweet baby Jesus.

ME: I admire their enthusiasm! I am glad they have found each other!

HOTEL: *tries not to laugh*

ME: They are clearly having a VERY fulfilling relationship!

HOTEL: *choking noises*

ME: But if you are at the stage of your relationship where you are making that kind of noise in the afternoon, you are gonna make it all night as well.

HOTEL: Oh yeah! *loses battle, begins laughing*

ME: I am a children's book author--

HOTEL: *begins slapping her hands on the desk*

ME: --and I gotta get up at 6:45 to go talk to third graders. Is there any way you can move me to a different room?

HOTEL: Oh thank the lord. I though you were gonna ask me to go pound on their door.

ME: That seemed unkind. For you and them.

HOTEL: I'll move you right over. (Shuffling of room numbers occurs)

ME: You heard that one before?

HOTEL: Oh honey, I've worked hotels for fifteen years. I've heard pretty much everything.

Yolanda, you were marvelous and if I can find a suggestion box, I will tell your supervisor so. My new room is lovely.

is the orange fruit maybe persimmons?

:-( my comment with link to persimmon pictures was marked as spam.

I would love I hear some of the questions from kids simply because my own son has such fabulous ones while reading the Dragonbreath books.

My current workplace in Houston introduced me to Torchy's. Great stuff.

Growing up in California, I always thought the default of "tacos" was a hard, fried shell. In Texas, the default seems to be simply a soft tortilla. Some places have hard shells, but you have to ask for them if you want them.

Blue eyes = mind control? Sounds like someone has seen just enough of Dune to get confused. :-)

Sounds more...Fae to me. I know I've read that somewhere, AUGH!

*wracks brain*

I just got back from dinner… but now I want Pork Belly Buns!

Torchy's Tacos is indeed tasty! I love the Fried Avocado and the shrimp ones...

(Deleted comment)
I was going to tweet this to you, but it got too long.

Thank you for your kid books. My son is 4 and doesn't talk yet. He loves books and can read, just no words of his own. He ADORES your books. He stole Hamster Princess from me. We're now up to Ghostbreath and he's enthralled by the story.

Thank you for Castle Hangnail, Toad Words, and KUEC. Thank you for The Hidden Almanac.

I can't get to any of your events on this book tour to commiserate about how extroverts don't understand that giving us MORE people to deal with doesn't make things easier.

Oh! Also thank you for the print I bought...9 years ago (sheesh). It was the cardinals, but like *cardinals* painting. I gave it to my uncle - a Catholic priest - as a thanks for performing my wedding. He STILL has it hanging in his office. :-D.

That's all.

I'm sure glad you decided to post the saga!

read Reddit's Tales from the Front Desk. You are a champion customer and total peach.

Edited at 2015-10-09 03:15 am (UTC)


That's too funny. If Kaden had gotten more guests like you, he probably wouldn't have been soured on hotel/motel jobs.

I think the blue eyes= mind control might come from the Avengers movie where Loki is using his spear thing to mind control people I think I remember all the people he did that too had their eyes turn a weird blue color. Thanks for the laugh I loved your recounting of the conversation with the hotel staff. :)

I think maybe Joss Whedon was channeling you when he wrote Firefly.
(I hope this is a compliment because I meant it as such.)

Why did n't you grab some guy and start making your own noises?

How would that let her sleep? You seem to have misunderstood what the problem was.

Yay, signed books and changed hotel rooms!

Brief followup: There was indeed a Red Footed Booby spotted on St. Simon's Island probably after getting caught up in Hurricane Joaquin. It's apparently hanging out and following the shrimp boats.

The Small Editor Child was thrilled with the signing and the panel; she said to say thank you. Also, would you please pass along to your fellow tour-member Mitch Larson that it is entirely his fault that my daughter was up an hour and a half past her bedtime last night reading. I came up to find her hurriedly turning out the lights and claiming "I just got caught up in Pennyroyal and then it was LATE."

I think I've met a Yolanda while doing Work Travel. They are patient saints if you get them on your good side.

Thank you for the panel and the signing. Good luck on surviving the rest of the hordes.

I've started to collect your kid book for future grand babies...they WILL be raised right (they will also listen to classic rock and go do things like swim in the creek and catch frogs)

and as someone who works service/retail -
PLEASE do find Yolanda's hotel's website and tell them how wonderful she was and post it on their facebook page.
It really means a lot and the more stuff like that that happens the better things go for those of us on the ground

and enjoy your trip!


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