ursulav

I bet they'd make Wildlife deal with it if it was in season as well. :)

It'd go straight into local cop folklore. "You think that's weird? There was the time that woman called about that thing out in the woods---Pete went out. Hey, Pete! Tell 'em about that... that thing in the woods. With the antlers."

...oh god, it's true.

I love you people.

"We'd make Wildlife deal with it"

Best. Hand off. Ever.

And that's exactly how it would work up here. "Not our balliwick! The sheriffs deal with UFOs, not us!"

So I got to take a whole class on wildlife tranquilization and restraint (including getting to dart bison and it was awesome!), and let me tell you, talk to a wildlife vet. They're way more likely to give you more interesting answers.

no zombie deer division? It's these modern training methods. They concentrate on human and they just don't teach them to think outside the coffin...

of course they would make Wildlife deal with it... you ever try to hoof print a deer?

My eldest sister was a 911 dispatcher and one of the joys of small towns and rural communities is that I could hang out with her while she worked. I can assure you that, as a rule, cops are more concerned with running foot races (and settling other OTJ bets) and trying to figure out why the Dispatcher always knows when they're lying to her than worrying about undead deer and random theoretical effigies.

On the other hand, you've been the topic of conversation back at the cop shop for at least a full day. "I was accosted by this woman with some really strange questions. Nice lady. Strange, but nice. I hope we never get a call that involves her."

"Was it the lady with all the metal animals in her front yard?"

"Y'know, you may be right. Now I really don't want a call from her."

Of course they'd let Wildlife deal with it. Then they can go back to their nice safe world of normal crime, coffee and doughnuts. Now Wildlife knows when it is just kids messing about or whether more... specialised help is needed. After all more Native Americans are going to be joining Wildlife than the police force.

No. They don't.

you'd think nobody ever asked him about evil deer effigies before.

Just as well. You don't want everyone writing about evil deer effigies.

Stumbled across your journal after not journalling for a long, long time. I'd never heard of your work but after looking I have to say that it is absolutely beautiful. Very cool stuff. Keep it up.
And good luck with the garden!

Just give him a copy of the book when it comes out. It will live in the dispatcher's office forever.

new cop: "Hey, what's with the book?"

old cop: "Go ask Bob about the weird author lady. And no, he's not making any of it up. Hand to God."

"We took a vote."

That is a great and painfully funny callback to Chessiecon 2015. Thank you!

Passing the buck (ha) is a time-honored tradition among law enforcement and other public agencies! I remember my dad having much the same response when a guy claimed he'd paid his entire back-child support debt in venison. "Oh, thank god! He's fish and wildlife's problem now!"