This book does not really exist, and is unlikely to do so, so let's get that out of the way.
Having realized that I will probably be randomly self-publishing things for many years to come, I finally decided that I need to address one of the glaring holes in my artistic skillset--graphic design.
I'm not great at it. But I'm gonna be doing my own book covers as T. Kingfisher for quite awhile. So I spent awhile on Pinterest pinning covers I like or found interesting or eye-catching, and then it occurred to me that there is pretty much no artistic skill you learn simply by looking at examples of it, so I started fooling with fake book mock-ups. My buddy Daniel Solis, whenever anybody drops a particular complex or weird line into the conversation, will simply say "...a memoir," and so that turned into fake memoir covers and so forth.
I dunno, it sort of works large but the contrast between the green and the brown isn't strong enough at the small size, so if it was kindle-thumbnail-size, it'd just look too dark.
If anyone has any suggestions for really good entry-level design books, I'd love to hear 'em.
I did weed out the deadly nightshade when my daughter was a lot younger - just in case.
So gardening is a horror - I thought you liked it!
The beauty of the internet is that we have so much information at our fingertips. Yes there are online how to do Graphic Design, some of which are free. There are also You Tube videos as well. There are also book recs for books on Graphic Design.
If you wish to be entertained while you learn try Chip Kidd's You Tube videos on designing book covers. I'd do a link but then this would be marked as spam.
I like the cover just as it is. Clear, uncluttered, legible.
The edge tension on the title, particularly on "planting" is making my eye twitch a little; it might be better in a color that doesn't bleed into the trees in the background.
Alex, What Are You Licking: A Horror Story
Oh Sam: A Children's Book
Sorry, Sophie: A Memoir
("Oh Sam" should be said in fond but long-suffering tones. Sam is my 12-year-old kitten with a brain the size of a pea. A small pea.)
You're welcome to illustrate those if you want. :D
Edited at 2016-05-16 04:50 am (UTC)
Art
Edited at 2016-05-16 04:51 am (UTC)
TED talk about book cover design-- this should at least be fun and might be useful.
2.) Boot up the contrast on the tree trunk, to make it as dark and ominous as possible...a la Blair Witch scary.
3.) Consider making the background foliage low-res, high-contrast B&W, like in lurid, 1950s crime-scene photos. Keep it creepy. Maybe add a dark green gradient from the bottom up?
4.) Center-align all the words in the title text, so that they are stacked on top of each other.
5.) Make the final word in the title..."THAT"...larger and bolder than the rest, and give it an exclamation point; ie; "THAT!", to emphasise the horror.
6.) The "memoir" line is brilliant...don't change it!
7.) Tell me to go s**t in my hat, because who asked me anyways!