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Archives of the Ahistorical Society: Speaking Owl

Transcript of office communication, notes, & loud yelling provided by Intern Brittany!


Sid, what is this?

We went out after that owl. - Sid

I recall you going after the owl, yes.

It's not a very nice owl. - Sid

According to the initial report, the farmer out that way said that it called every night, "The gods are gone, the gods have abandoned you, you cannot make new gods fast enough, all will fail and fall."

Yeah, more or less. But it said it in a owl sort of way. Like it hooted "you" a bunch of times. And then it sort of sniggered. The farmer says it eats chickens. Marla wanted to run it over with the truck, but it was in a tree. - Sid

Marla has a somewhat single-minded approach to unexplained phenomenon. Now, did the farmer have any kids?

No? Well, uh, maybe? We didn't ask. I mean, you don't go around saying "Hey, we're here about your evil talking owl, and by the way, have you fathered any children that might not be in the house?" Didn't seem relevant. - Sid

Not quite what I was getting at...

Oh god, you don't think the owl was his, do you? Like he had a horrible owl-baby and he kept it in the attic so people wouldn't know and then it escaped and now it's lurking around the farm mocking him? - Sid

Maybe the owl was his wife, like in Jane Eyre! - B


It could be both! His owl-wife is in the attic having owl-babies and then one got loose and--

EVERYONE SHUT UP ABOUT OWL BABIES. I was trying to figure out why there's a child's scribble of an owl in this file!

Oh, I drew that. - Sid

I suspected as much, but hope springs eternal.

It was dark! We couldn't take photos! So I did an artist rendering. - Sid

In the future, please just include a note with a verbal description.

But what are we going to do about the owl-wife in the attic? - B

The love between a farmer and an entirely hypothetical owl is not our business. Just file the...the thing. Please.

Artist's rendering and transcript filed under "Hostile, Probably Not Extremely Dangerous But Someone Who Is Not Sid Should Probably Deal With It" by Intern Brittany!

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This is OT, but over the holidays I bought the complete set of Digger for my sister. She just finished, and loved it; she asked if there was such a thing as a Digger plushie (or Ed, for that matter). Do they exist?

I second the question! There are some pretty good hyena plushies out there (I have one), but I haven't seen a satisfying wombat.

I want to slowly find out more about these folk through interaction.

Full out explanations would just spoil the fun.

Carry on!

Is the exclamation point now officially part of Intern Brittany!'s name?

With all she's had to file, I think she deserves an exclamation point by now. :D

Loving these so much, that Marla is obviously a single minded woman :)

Marla has a refreshing attitude to paranormal phenomenon.

Marla's response is entirely practical, though I suspect that it wouldn't work most of the time. "Just once I'd like to meet an alien menace that wasn't immune to bullets." -- The Brigadier, from Doctor Who

And this is why Battlefield is THE BEST EPISODE EVER. Despite being incredibly silly otherwise. ;-)

I'm loving these more and more...

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