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Journal 8-27-16

Other weirdness--they wrote their insult on a print-out of an author website with my bibliography. On both sides of the paper. Because...uh...I guess they needed to fit in Jackalope Wives and a couple of Digger volumes on the back for...maximum...offensiveness...?

For those of a curious bent, the crushing insult delivered with such care was "Your photo broke my computer, ugh!" Alas, they did not include a return address, allowing me to reply with the "I'm rubber, you're glue" response that I believe is traditional in such cases.

(Really, I'm mostly just impressed they spent stamp money on it. But the postmark was from Portland, OR, and I would certainly expect any hate mail from Portland to be small-batch, artisanal, and presumably free-range and hormone-free as well.)

On the bright side, my turmeric really is kicking butt. I wedged it under the fig. I just hope it overwinters. I've read reports of it being too tropical to survive less than 65 degrees, and others of it overwintering outside in 7b, so we'll find out, I guess.

Your Hound looks utterly blissed-out. Is Sergei an enormous cat, or is it just the angle?

Small-batch artisanal trolling . . . I love your response, but wow. How rude and strange. o__@

*head-shaking at the oddity of certain instances of humanity*

(And I LIKE your photos, and your boots, and your ink -- so THERE, Rando Q. Egg!)


Believe that's actually Smokey in the shot - their very pretty Siamese (mix?) derp-kitty.

Your awesomely blasê, "whatever" response to this half-baked troll just makes me admire you even more, Ursula...so hopefully that evens out your fan mail karma for the day!

I can assure you that anyone from Portland engaging in such behaviors is fully baked considering the recreational marijuana laws were passed a while ago.

The spouse-creature thinks that this particular Troll is unlikely to be free of hormones.

I'm fascinated to know what happens with the Tumeric. If it overwinters for you, it'll do fine for me as I'm 1 zone or so up from your area. I need to restart my rosemary bush; it failed in the ice storm a few years back and never quite recovered. Oregano is doing fine though. 17 years and still kicking.

On behalf of Portland I wanna say that troll is a stupid poopy head.

Points for use of language that the troll can understand. XD

I saw some little bitty bits of fresh turmeric at the grocery a while ago and got them because of curiosity, but I didn't really find anything useful to do with them. (My impression was that it looked, and tasted, a bit like carrot -- and the juice, while orange, was astoundingly low-staining considering what the powdered spice does.) So, continuing that curiosity: What do you do with it, other than growing it?

Well, at the moment, I do nothing but grow it! But I think people usually dry the roots and then grind them up to make turmeric powder. The internet also says you can grate it over curry, and that pickled turmeric is very popular in India, so honestly, I'd probably try pickling myself.

...how very odd. Artisan troll indeed. That could make a cute colouring in page XD

We've gotten oregano to overwinter. In Wisconsin. It's now trying to take over the world.

Same. it started out in a pot in the side yard. It's now developing it's own little patch among the irises.

I live a bit north of you, and I can assure you that both thyme and oregano do just fine at zero degrees. Though I'm not sure that my garden is all that natural sometimes. I have a camilia that survived the zero degree snap and another one right next to it that died at 35 degrees.

I'm picturing your small-batch, artisanal trolling being lovingly handcrafted by a guy who looks like a cross between the unibomber and a neo-slacker wannabe surfer who is alternately eating a pot brownie and writing the next word with tongue-in-teeth concentration.

*munch* *chew* *chew* *squeezes eyes shut in concentration* *writes the word "ugly"* *throws down pen and acts triumphantly exhausted*

I haven't found a hearty enough thyme variety. They've all died by the end of their first Fall, even in my relatively mild climate.

I highly doubt the troll was intending to amuse us all as much as they did. I now imagine them jumping up and down, red in the face, and throwing their pencil across the room. "No! No! NO! They're not supposed to laugh!" XD

Turmeric contains a very interesting chemical that affects proteasomes, like the anti-cancer drug Velcade.


Also: insulting your looks? Oh for crying out loud, there is nothing wrong with your looks, and I say that in a way that I hope is as non-creepy as possible.

Thank you for link.

Now I have to thank an artisanal troll for sparking enough interest in his target to prompt her to talk about her turmeric. Nope. Gonna remain ungrateful.

That is the sign of a desperate troll, if all they can say bad about you as an author is that you are ugly. I am also amused that they labelled the letter FAN MAIL. Was it a silly attempt to lull you into a false sense of security so the effects of their words would be greater?

I wonder if this some pathetic reaction to your rather adult response to the Hugos. Especially as the choice of insult seems to assume that your being female would find a personal comment on your appearance hurtful. Clearly they do not know you.

You ain't nothin' but a Sad Puppy
Cryin' all the time
Well, you ain't never read my books
And you ain't no fan of mine.

Well they said you was high-classed
Well, that was just a lie
Yeah they said you was high-classed
Well, that was just a lie
Well, you ain't never read my books.
And you ain't no fan of mine

Never fear Ursula, we love you (as an author and artist, and with a properly fannish enthusiasm which is hopefully non-creepy and otherwise appropriate.)

People who send nasty notes like that are usually envious jerks who can neither draw a straight line nor write a coherent sentence.

Why am I picturing this troll standing on a very small pile of dirt and screaming "Your mother was a hamster!" ala Python?

Sounds right. That's probably about as eloquent as this one gets.

FAN MAIL (also from Portland): YOUR LOOKS ARE VERY NICE. You have this one look that is like "what." and you have this other look that is like "oh shit that is awesome!" and you have a third look that I cannot capture in words except to summarize it with all of the others as 'nice,' which damns it with faint praise. There are others, equally nice, which are outside the scope of this FAN MAIL.

Awwwww. That is so kind!

What a lot of trouble to go to to send a one-line half-assed insult.

I mean, really. That's the best they could do? That's just phoning it in. Real small-batch artisanal free-range hormone-free insults should have a little more flavor to them, in my opinion. Isn't the flavor the point? Why go to that much effort when you can pour more flavorful insults out of a can?

Humph. We used to get a better quality of troll, is all I'm saying.

May I recommend that the troll study the recent Merriam Webster list of creative insults? Or I believe that a large portion of the population of Scotland pulled out the stops regarding a certain presidential candidate. Those were very educational. This troll lives within too narrowly defined boundaries to be truly free-range. And small-batch artisans take pride in the quality of the work.

Oh for pity's sake. I have a feeling that this guy is a wanna-be cartoonist who finds it outrageous that a female person has stolen that he considers his thunder.