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Someday, This Will Be My Memoir

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This has been my thoughts about the paper wasps hanging out up in my house/garage evens. But I just bought the house last year and don't want it burned down.

I'm laughing WITH you, honestly! It has nothing to do with damn blackberries.

At least blackberries you can eat the fruit. Try dealing with bindweed. Ok, you can tear it out easy enough..and then it comes back twice as bad less than a week later. Plus it's a mildly toxic irritant, and strangles other plants.

Edited at 2016-08-30 10:11 am (UTC)

I'm dealing with Japanese Honeysuckle, ivy, blackberries AND morning glory. I understand the desire to just burn it all with fire. Why did I get house on a third of an acre again?

I keep saying this but the wife won't let me use napalm.

Damn bindweed...

One of these days I'm building a plasma rifle. Lets see it grow back when the top couple of inches of soil have been turned to glass!

Edited at 2016-08-30 10:13 am (UTC)

Wiping or painting the leaves with Round Up in the spring when they first come out works. I went googling to see it there were organic options...

Take a pair of clippers to it. Cut if off at ground level every time it sprouts. That will eventually kill the root system through starvation.


Push short lengths of garden cane into the soil next to the shoots and wrap the stems around the canes. This stops the bindweed from entwining itself around other plants. Cut off the bottom of 2 liter plastic water (or juice) bottles and remove the cap. Pop the bottle over the cane and bindweed and spray into the neck of the bottle with a concentrated salt mixture. Replace the cap. Before you know it the plant has shriveled and died as the heat in the bottle ensures the salt burns it very effectively.

20% vinegar. Pick a hot day. Get pump up sprayer and spray weeds. They will be dead in a couple of hours. Also mix soap in with solution so that it will stick to plant.

(Nota Bene: this also works for poison ivy)

Solarize it. (aka: sterilize the soil) To solarize, water the soil thoroughly, then put down one or, even better, two layers of thick, clear plastic. Fasten the sides down with rocks or bricks. If you have to piece the plastic together, use glue intended for that purpose. The minimum area for a good success rate is 6 by 9 feet.


Everything I found on this says the roots are deep and can spread 10 feet laterally. A tiny root bit is enough to start a new plant. (Which is why all the pulling has to be done constantly for close to three years before it all dies off.) Also never, ever let them go to seed.

Hire goats and chickens, both of which will happily eat bindweed. The chickens even go after exposed roots.

I have bindweed too, and I don't have access to children any more.

Years ago I had a front garden that was very, very much too accessible to all the neighbours children - so I used one problem to solve another and offered a bounty on bindweed roots. Competitions were held every three days with a small prize to the child who presented the heaviest bag containing nothing but bindweed roots.

I think the bindweed lasted about two months. (There's not a hope of doing anything like that here and the rotten weed is swarming everywhere.)

That's a great idea. When my godson and his peers are old enough, I will have to do that. I have ivy, morning glory, japanese honeysuckle, and blackberries. Burning it with fire has crossed my mind more than once.

No one has kudzu? You're probably lucky.

When does that book come out on Kindle?

burn it
then get goats
5 years later:
no kudzu!

See, you can fix it with fire!

There isn't much you can't fix with fire actually...

Goats are just mammal fire.

Wisteria, bindweed, and Virginia creeper. Why, gardening gods?!? Why?

oh gods, the wisteria. I have a neighbour who thought it'd make the prettiest property-line marker. It being wisteria, it didn't bloom until it had crawled across the line and into my trees. Anything I do against it is just a holding action because the roots are primarily in her yard.
SOOOOO much yearning for fire...

Edited at 2016-08-30 12:14 pm (UTC)

I feel your pain!
the Wisteria Woes here were strong for years, we finally got the "trunk" dead after using extra strong vinegar and injecting it right in to the vines and stump with a turkey basting needle

Well, I was thinking of planting wisteria...

I mentioned to my SO that, without the subtitle, your book could apply to our house in general. Forget cleaning the house. Just burn it down and start over.

In my household we've decided on the motto (but no crest yet... we're still fighting over the imagery) : Fire Solves All. But I'm just not sure how that would go in Latin.

... Of course no one on this journal knows me so that's probably less hilarious and more "ooookay" than I intended. :P

Given the context, it's still funny.

I'm picturing a hand in profile with a flame coming out of it, a-la Firestarter

I say sheep rampant with flaming swords, husband keeps muttering "What are you talking about?!". Which, in all honesty, is probably what his family motto/crest should be. 16 years of living with me and it's pretty much all he says now. ;)

Pyrocanthus - the plant strikes back! (Seriously this earns the name "Fire Thorn"!)

Japanese stiltgrass took over my boyfriend's mother's giant garden last year. I still think fire was the way to go.

Fire...or a couple of goats.

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