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Dear teenagers cruising my suburb with pounding hip-hop at top volume,

I realize that you think we are A) admiring your youthful coolness and rebellion, or B) horrified by the naughty words and shaking our heads like the squares we are, or C) terrified you're here to bust caps in our glutinous suburban asses, but I wish to disabuse you of this notion. We know all the naughty words and use them frequently. We are not particularly offended. We do not care that the lyrics are about smacking your hos around because we know all about "shock value," having been fans of the Dead Kennedys in our day.

If you could read our minds, in fact, you would find that we are thinking, "Aw, poor kid. He must have a penis the size of a matchstick."

I suppose, as Douglas Adams once said, telepathy would be the cruellest of social diseases.

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Bwahah! You beat me to it. I read this entry, and said to bfly (who happened to be in the room with me at the time), "I love Ursala..." :P

Best thing is... she agreed.

Well spoken. All I can do is snicker at them and shake my head at the fact that they will likely have hearing loss or at the very least tinnitus. Their own dumb fault.

**O.o's at the icon**

Now that's not something you see every day.

having been fans of the Dead Kennedys in our day.

Reading those words made me search for my cane..

-the suddenly aged,

You mean Jello Biafra didn't really kill children!? Damn, there goes another of my idols... :)

Ahyes - "Sorry about your penis" syndrome. I grew up in a town full of those sorts - but to make it even more pathetic, it was a bunch of upper middle class white boys pretending they were big bad black gangsters from da hood. I wonder just what they were compensating for - a penis can only get so small!

Gives the phrase "retro-penis" a whole new meaning.

I suppose there's always ball size, too?

I think you just described the folks who live in the front house behind which my little guest house sits.

Well, I think that you only attack OTHER people's penis size because you're rather inadequate in that department yourself. How long's yours anyway? Zero inches? I thought so!

You're absolutely right, of course. I got nothin' in the penis department, despite my frequent responses to all that spam...

You're just not doing it right

You're not supposed to reply to them, silly, you're supposed to print them out, crumple them up and stuff them into your shorts...

Viola! Instant size!

After a few of those, even your husband will start calling you "Sir"...!

Oblivious man strikes again!

Bwah hah haaaaa! Snerk! Oh, thank you. That was lovely.

Actually, it just makes me think, "Wow. I should invest in the hearing aid industry, because they're sure ensuring its continued survival. I wish they'd destroy their hearing without attacking mine too, though..."

I do not know if it's "Penic Compenastion< as much as it's Bul Ape mating displays, and I would prefer if the dominance displays were elewhere. I live in a fairly Ethinic Neighborhood, so forget trying to go to be early on a Friday or Saturday night....


Y'know... that rant was funny.
But the person that commented on your penis, or lack thereof, was what made me burst into a fit of giggles. Heh.

*applauds!* We get those too. Sad little idiots. Let's not forget that they can also cause heart arrhythmia if the beat is loud enough.

Cheers and jeers to the anonymous pin head who resorted to a 'takes one to know one' response. Very amusing.

I tend to think its "oooh, pay attention to me", just like the people that feel the need to use F*** as a noun, verb, adjective. I have nothing that sets me apart, so I'll create a lot of noise, and do things that will shock you so you pay attention. If you don't like it its because I'm too good. You can't take how REAL I am! Blinded by the light that is ME baby! :)

(interesting that I hear some in politics use this same arguement, so a lot of folks never outgrow it).

I just know I'm going to be muttering "matchsticks" now when I see/hear a few of these people cruising this summer. :)

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Wouldn't that be "Com-penis-ation?"

*falls over laughing* Brilliant. Just brilliant.

I usually muse to myself what insipid pap they are listening to. Your's of course is more amusing.

I do appreciate a nice stereo, though. You'd be amazed at how much better music in a car sounds through a 500 watt system (at normal volume) than through a stock car stereo. ^_^

Gotta love the kids. I blasted Slayer and when I was cruising around in my old Firebird when I was in high school, so I really cannot fault the current crop of suburban progeny for following suit. Someday, they'll be worrying about their credit and their mortgage and their kids.

Shock value works both ways! Imagine the consequences of you wearing a large amount of faux gold jewelry (aka "bling bling") with your baggy pants around your knees, whilst driving around listening to insanely loud and obnoxious "music." If you don't end up with "a cap in yo ass" then their behaviour shall cease rather quickly, I think you'll find.

Fo shizzle!

Ah, reminds my of my philosophy teacher's homework assignment for all of us to follow his example and shout 'Sorry 'bout your small penis!' to anyone we pass in an SUV.

Good times, good times.

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