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Selected Readings from the Book of Ursula, Cantos VXII.II

And Ursula went forth into the Pennsylvania wilds, even unto Emelenton, which lieth on the bank of the river Alleghany, to visit her parents.

And Ursula's mother, who was wise in the ways of painting and limning and drawing and many other arcane arts, spoke unto her, saying "Hast thou tried this new cradled gessoboard? Verily, it is supreme among painting surfaces, and thou shouldst check it out at once."

And Ursula answered, saying, "Alas, I have seen the gessoboard, but fear it also, for it is ungodly expensive, and I am a cheap bastard."

And Ursula's mother said, "Thou must try it."

And Ursula answered yet again, saying, "No! For if I should try the gessoboard, and find it good, and wish to forsake all other painting surfaces, it would yet be twelve dollars a square foot, and this fills me with dread even unto the depths of my wallet."

And Ursula's mother spoke, saying, "Yes, but you don't have to frame it afterwards so you save money in the long run."

And Ursula acknowledged the wisdom of this, but still fear was in her heart at the price of the gessoboard.

And Ursula's mother grew wroth and said, "Do you take this piece, and try it! And then call me and tell me what you think."

And Ursula bowed to her mother's request and took the cradled gessoboard, and returned to her studio upon the nameless swamp in the land of Cary.

And several days passed, while the knowledge of the cradled gessoboard ate at her heart like a canker, and finally she took up the paintbrush, saying "Have at thee, foul painting surface!" and painted.

And it was good.

And Ursula spoke, saying "Woe! I am undone, for I love the cradled gessoboard, and yet it is twelve dollars a square foot, whereas illoboard is three bucks a sheet."

And she spoke again, saying, "Well, bugger."

And she went unto her husband, James, and poured out her predicament before him, but locked in mortal combat with the X-box was he, and replied only, "So pass the cost on to the consumer, then."

And Ursula went back into her studio, but what happened next was not recorded, and the language that was heard beneath the door will not be recorded for posterity.

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Well, Paarfi of Roundwood it ain't, but it is darned amusing.

>>falls over giggling<<

*Blinks* What is this gessoboard you speak of? And is it really that good?

'Cause if it is, then yes, James has a point. Do incredibly nifty work upon it and pass the cost on to the consumer; or start doing miniatures :-P

Expensive miniatures.

Ooo! Miniatures as jewelry! Elizabethan-style wearable miniatures!

*squinting* Is that a portrait of your husband?
*proudly* No, it's a portrait of a wombat.

Bwahaha X)I'd buy a mini wombat portrait X)


The cradled stuff has a wood backing, so you can just hang it as is, no frame required, and it even looks good. And it's...cool. It has a nice texture if you use a lot of thin washes (as I tend to) and it's just a snazzy surface all around.

"And she went unto her husband, James, and poured out her predicament before him, but locked in mortal combat with the X-box was he..."

Boy, do I know that feeling...
May I quote this on my journal? I'll attribute to Ursula Vernon...
And yet again, your wit keeps me amused on a cold boring day.

*grin* Feel free! Good to know that someone else knows that feeling...

It was either Brust or Eddings when he's trying to be historical in fantasy series.

Definitely more Eddings(s-ses) than Brust...

I think I have to see to my references before deciding if it's narrative historical, or merely two Arends speaking to each other. :)

Ursula writing + Steven Brust writing = Very cool :)

OMG u rule lololol i cna wrait to

Us: "Will you, then, tell us the outcome of this thinking?"

You: "I will."

Us: "We are waiting."

You: "Here it is, then."

Re: OMG u rule lololol i cna wrait to

Lord! That's it exactly!

Re: OMG u rule lololol i cna wrait to

Yeah, I'm a big fan of his. *g*

(Deleted comment)
*grin* I generally use the crescent, actually. Or--have you tried museum matboard? It's a really cool surface to paint on.

Oh, dear, Ursula, you should not be allowed to be so funny. You should take your LJ, publish it as-is in a book, and use the profits from that to buy your gessoboard.

(The stuff sounds amazing, though, I may have to try it. ^^)

Gaha ha ha haha hack!*

* The sound of one proceeding to laugh aloud for a full ten minutes, and then passing out from lack of air.


Gessobord is just masonite, you could probably get ahold of masonite from a home depot or some such and gesso it yourself for substantially less than $12 a square foot.

Yeah, I gesso my own all the time, but I can't get the texture they get, and getting it pre-cradled is awfully tempting, between my lack of a saw and the Home Depot guys's failures with Basic Math.

Yes, but I'm impressed anyhow.

Rock N Roll Morning Person

Puzzling through the language on severe caffiene deprivation (I usually read your journal during the morning cuppa) at some ungodly hour of the morning is just *painful*

The sentiments, however, were amusing enough to keep me giggling for three days. Which is fortunate, since that's how long I'll be out of town and without a computer.

Re: Rock N Roll Morning Person

I keep waiting for that character's ribbons to be blown away in a sudden gust of wind...

QUOTE And she spoke again, saying, "Well, bugger." UNQUOTE


Gah! I don't know why, but that reminds me of a joke I heard once...

Little kid: Why did the Chicken cross the road?

Bible (King James Version): And God spake unto the chicken. And God saith unto the chicken, "Thou shalt cross the road." And the chicken crossed the road, and there was much rejoicing.



...that's Steven Brust imitating Lord Dunsany's The Gods of Pegana.

But whatever.

--Excitable Boy

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