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breeden
ursulav

"And there it goes..."

Three days after the birdseed went up--in this case a cheap birdseed bar that I'd fastened to an old plant-hook on a tree off the deck--our local squirrels made off with the motherlode. I'd been watching the squirrels dangle upside down to yank handfuls off the bar and been amused by it, but as I was in the bathroom, this morning, brushing my teeth, I heard James say solemnly "And there it goes..."

I rushed out, dripping foam like a rabid wombat (4/4 with counters, if memory serves) to catch the tail end of the squirrel, holding a birdseed bar larger than his entire body, go awkwardly down the tree. He couldn't climb UP with it, but he was able to brake its fall to the ground. He got lower than the porch and I lost sight of him.

"Where'd he go?" I demanded of James (as if James was some kind of expert on the psychology of our local squirrelthief.)
"Under the porch to start a new life, I imagine," said James dryly.

A few minutes later, with the birdseed bar crosswise in his mouth like a small dog fetching a railroad tie, the squirrel waddled into view. I considered going after him to reclaim my seedbar, but figured meh--it was three bucks and he'd gnawed through wire for it. If he could get it home, he'd earned it, and I'm hardly gonna begrudge a hardworking fellow mammal a meal at my expense.

Now I gotta get one of those thick wire holders and another bird bar...

P.S. DSL should be back next week--in theory--and I will hopefully be replying to e-mail then. If you've e-mailed me recently and haven't gotten a reply, it's not that I don't love you/find you amusing/need work/want to transfer money from your Nigerian bank account, it's that webmail is pretty bad about actually sending responses. But hopefully next week.

breeden
ursulav

“And there it goes…”

Three days after the birdseed went up–in this case a cheap birdseed bar that I’d fastened to an old plant-hook on a tree off the deck–our local squirrels made off with the motherlode. I’d been watching the squirrels dangle upside down to yank handfuls off the bar and been amused by it, but as I was in the bathroom, this morning, brushing my teeth, I heard James say solemnly “And there it goes…”

I rushed out, dripping foam like a rabid wombat (4/4 with counters, if memory serves) to catch the tail end of the squirrel, holding a birdseed bar larger than his entire body, go awkwardly down the tree. He couldn’t climb UP with it, but he was able to brake its fall to the ground. He got lower than the porch and I lost sight of him.

“Where’d he go?” I demanded of James (as if James was some kind of expert on the psychology of our local squirrelthief.)
“Under the porch to start a new life, I imagine,” said James dryly.

A few minutes later, with the birdseed bar crosswise in his mouth like a small dog fetching a railroad tie, the squirrel waddled into view. I considered going after him to reclaim my seedbar, but figured meh–it was three bucks and he’d gnawed through wire for it. If he could get it home, he’d earned it, and I’m hardly gonna begrudge a hardworking fellow mammal a meal at my expense.

Now I gotta get one of those thick wire holders and another bird bar…

P.S. DSL should be back next week–in theory–and I will hopefully be replying to e-mail then. If you’ve e-mailed me recently and haven’t gotten a reply, it’s not that I don’t love you/find you amusing/need work/want to transfer money from your Nigerian bank account, it’s that webmail is pretty bad about actually sending responses. But hopefully next week.

Originally published at Tea with the Squash God. You can comment here or there.