November 21st, 2005

breeden

(no subject)

So last night, James and I were disrobing for bed. James was down to a T-shirt and boxers, and I was struggling with the age-old question of whether or not to wear socks to bed, since my feet were cold.

James had just sent his boxers southward when he froze, and made a terrible "AWWWWWWwwwwwwhhhh..." of dismay.

Now, when someone removes their underwear and then breaks into a moan of despair, I automatically assume something has prolapsed, or collapsed, or whatever maladies afflict all the squishy little non-user-serviceable parts of the male anatomy. I froze with a sock in my hand. "What? WHAT?!"

James reapplied his underwear and let out another "Owwwwhhhhh..." And sighed, heavily.

I leapt to my single-sock-clad feet and came over, anticipating a trip to the emergency room or a hernia or something. However, to my mingled relief and mild dismay, James was fine. He was, however, gazing at a dead mouse (hence the dismay.)

"AWWWWWwwwwwhhh..." I said.

Athena had apparently dispatched the furry invader at some point while we were oblivious. We praised her for being a ferocious Mousebane. However, we still had to deal with the body. James wanted to flush it. I refused on the grounds that One Does Not Flush Mice. "You flush FISH!" he said. "Mice aren't fish!" "Some fish are bigger than mice...you flush them...well, maybe not something the size of a carp..." "You don't flush MICE!"

I suggested we just wing it off the deck into the darkness of the woods and let nature take its course. (I was still wandering around in a lone sock, and pretty much just wanted to get to bed.) James was aghast at this notion. One does not fling corpses willy-nilly off the deck! At least, not in a well-organized household! My arguments that A) it's 40-degrees out and the mouse would keep for awhile, and B) maybe an owl would eat it and C) had he perhaps noted that I was wearing one sock and was tired, damnit? fell on deaf ears.

At last we compromised, as one might expect, with Burial At Can, wherein the rodent hero was sent off to his rodent Valhalla in a double-bagg'd wrap as white as the wing of a swan, emblazoned with the ancient runes of Hefty, and laid to rest in a forest green plastic cairn, there to dwell until the Valkyries of Public Service come and escort him to the Promised Land. I said a few words. The words were "Well, at least she left it on the floor, not the pillow," but it's the thought that counts.
breeden

(no subject)

Today was one of those days when I got so much done, I feel like Superwoman.

This happens virtually never, so it's notable. Today I ran off prints, mailed ten sets of prints, ran off more prints, hand-delivered three more sets of prints (all at Mr. Toad's, so it's only the one trip, but still) scoured toy stores for specific Harry Potter Legos for Max, bought organic candy and a Spiders of the World poster(also for Max) scanned and uploaded a sketch, sold said sketch, sold the Mouse Dryad (okay, that required only answering an e-mail, but still, das' a good feeling) answered a bunch of e-mail, set up more print orders, did the fourth Digger in a week, picked up prescriptions, vaccuumed the house, got various routing numbers from the bank, paid bills, and slapped down some more paint on a huge 24 x 36 painting of a naked mole rat that, in a fit of total psychosis that I cannot even recall the justification for, I blithely promised the owner of the Toad that I would have done in time for her grand opening Nov. 2nd.

So it was a productive day. Also, I can't feel my brain.