January 9th, 2006


(no subject)

I emerged from the shower, reeking of maple syrup as usual, and heard the cat scuffling at the bathroom door to get in.

For reasons that I am still not entirely clear on, I flung the door open, twirled my towel like a matador's cape, and announced "The Dance of the Waffle!"*

The cat got one look at this and bolted. I found her later in the studio, wedged between the gesso tub and a table leg, looking traumatized.

I have a coupla talents, and a coupla things I'm not bad at, but I know my limits. The dance world will just have to limp along without me.

*Keen observers, of which there better not have been any, might have noticed a certain kinship between the Dance of the Waffle and the drunken fratgirl boogie of the female orcs in World of Warcraft. Only less graceful.

Sketch Dump


(no subject)

The TV just ran an advertisement for "Buzz Ballads" which would "take your buzz to the next level!"

Being that my hearing is going bad at the ripe old age of 28, I heard "take your balls to the next level!"

I paid rather closer attention to the commercial than it deserved after that...

I wonder if I'll persist in this bizarrely Freudian state of hearing for the next few decades, or if I'll just be deaf as a post and require a hearing aid by forty.

This doesn't bother me as much as it might, because it's a gadget, and James loves gadgets, which means he'll probably be modding my hearing aid and giving it an optional corkscrew, magnifying glass and bandsaw attachment, or perhaps snazzy neon running lights. It'll look as if the Borg ran out of the chiselled post-adolescents and were forced to send in the second tier of pudgy middle-aged women. You'll know us by our sensible haircuts and black gadget-covered Birkenstocks, and our insistence that the rest of the cube put on sunscreen if they're going down to the planet, for god's sake, they're so pale, they'll burn like that and would anyone like to assimilate these leftovers?

I am still not entirely sanguine about death, but I suspect I'll be pretty good at middle age.