November 21st, 2006

breeden

(no subject)

Okay, okay--this is actually good for me, because I have to kick at it to the point where I am not completely humiliated by posting it. Have a chunk. It picks up directly where the other one left off.

It's rather long. It's REALLY rough, but I've already apologized for that a couple of times, so I won't tax you with more browbeating. There is a section about a third of the way through where I basically drop kick the plot in, and I'm quite aware that it wallows like a hog in plotmuck, but I think I'll have to get farther along before I come back and tuck the edges in there.

Still not sure about Caliban. (Yes, one of my favorite masculine names, obviously.) Possessed, agoraphobic, killed the proverbial busload of nuns, and I'm still mostly getting surly rather than tormented. Possibly I am simply much more comfortable with surly. Surly I understand.

Anyway, all those glaring flaws aside, the suicide mission and three of our four dramatis personae are dragged on stage by the end, so that's something.

Also, I'm pretty sure I went to high school with Brenner.

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breeden

(no subject)

31K. I keep crankin' this out, and I may actually get back on track for Nanowrimo.

I must be inspired. I had to actually get out music instead of NPR. Since all I've got is Tool, Firewater, and Tom Waits, this may have a warping effect on the next chapter, which is already full of nearly Lovecraftian headless dancing rats and demon-deer women.

Still, you just can't write desperate horror to Steeleye Span. There's a law, or something.