December 19th, 2007


(no subject)

Yesterday I accomplished virtually nothing!

Well, I had a lot of good food, and Deb got me some lovely Fiestaware plates in purple for Christmas, and I went out for tapas with a friend in the evening, but other than assembling my ingredients/equipment for muffindom, I accomplished pretty much nada, went to bed early, and slept for quite a long time. (During which I had an incredibly complicated dream about a prince working as an assassin in a strange pair of sister-cities separated by a vast desert and an army of trolls, which oddly enough I've dreamed about before, and then there was a bunch of pursuing horsemen and the fan club from hell, and by the end of it I was an elderly sheep oracle fighting my way through an overgrown hedge maze, accompanied by my tough-as-nails wolf bodyguard and my sheep apprentice, Mesiel. We were attacked by bears. Rowan Atkinson made a brief cameo as a wizard. I'm gonna miss the Effexor dreams.)

Hey, it happens.

Today! Today I shall be productive as hell to make up for it!

(no subject)

Holy crap, it's the 19th!?

I fly to Michigan next MONDAY?!

Oh, man...

Digger will have the holidays off, I think. Crimony. Hmm. Okay. Laundry and packing this weekend. Situation under control. Not getting any major paintings done before the new year, but that was probably a pipe dream anyway. Eee! Gotta mail Dad's presents...

Okay. Okay. I have accomplished a fair amount so far this morning. Situation under control, despite Ben's determination to help me unpack the food processor. Digger and muffins today, hamsters and mail tomorrow. All doable.


Baking Experiment #1: Blackberry Muffins

The muffins are in the oven.

Assembly was not difficult...we'll see in 18-20 minutes whether or not that was "deceptively easy" or not. Only took fifteen minutes or so to prepare. I used the Alton Brown Old-School Muffin recipe.

Lab Assistant Ben was baffled by my presence in the kitchen. Why was I there? Was it feeding time already? There's no other reason for me to be in the kitchen for more than thirty seconds at a stretch. Perhaps it WAS feeding time. Woe! Confusion! He attempted to crawl into the dishwasher to see if the answers lay there, but was dissuaded by my strident protests that cats are not dishwasher safe.

Moment of Pride: Hey, I separated that yolk like a pro!

Moment of Dismay: "Mix just until batter comes together. Do NOT mix smooth." Um. 'Kay...?

Moment of Discovery: Wow, blackberry juice turns the dough purple. I will hope this is neat rather than unsettling.

My hands are now drier than the Sahara. I bet bakers use a lot of hand lotion.

Results: Edible! Not drop-dead amazing--they're not terribly sweet muffins, which was mentioned in the recipe, and I think I'd prefer 'em a little sweeter--but they seem edible. I will inflict them 'pon my friends and get a second opinion.

Downside: When removed from muffin pan, molten whole blackberries either stay with pan or drop out en-route to cooling rack, resulting in the creation of the "Oh my god, there's a scalding blackberry on my foot" dance, coming to a nightclub near you soon.

(no subject)

My gratitude to the very nice fan who got me "Diary of a Wombat" and "Elephant Prince" and the one who sent me the awesome maple-leaf nightlight, which will make my bathroom less of a navigation hazard when I stagger forth in the small hours of the night!

My house smells like somebody baked muffins in it. That's awesome.

Hama Sutra

It is with some personal pleasure and somewhat more dismay that I announce the coming of a new project...the Illustrated Hama Sutra.

Some months ago, the notorious Mr. K-----, hard at work on his doctorate in Applied Hamster Studies, locked himself in his study with a case of Wild Turkey and a copy of that great work of rodent philosophy, the Hama Sutra. Determined to produce the definitive translation of this seminal work on the art of hamster love, he dedicated himself wholeheartedly to the project, communicating with the outside world only through notes shoved into empty bottles and thrown out the window. These missives included scattered pages of the translated manuscript, punctuated with demands for more booze and fresh cherry pies, which his editor duly shoved through the doggy-door once a day.

When the time came to consider illustration of this project, of course there was only one choice. The naturalist and artist Caliban, author of the exhaustive 36-volume Hamsters of North America, (which the critics hailed as "extremely bulky" and "squarish") was sought out at once. He was eventually discovered several hundred feet up a large pine tree, where he was convinced that he had uncovered a new type of perching tree-hamster, but was coaxed down with offers of tea and gallery showings.

While the manuscript will likely be illustrated in black and white, we have obtained a preliminary painting from the work, and post it here for your viewing pleasure.



The exact time-line of publication is yet unknown, as Mr. K--------'s missives have grown increasingly drunken, most recently including demands for a human-sized exercise wheel and 600lbs of cedar shavings, and Caliban is currently awaiting bail following the regrettable incident at Rodents 'R Us.

The Real Story: Okay, a buddy of mine (who can out himself if he wishes, although I withheld the name to protect the guilty) offered to do the text, and I've been threatening to do it for AGES...and damnit, sex oughta be light-hearted and playful as well as grim and fraught and all that stuff. Hence...hamsters.

God help us all.