Today, as we faced the Lawful Evil lich trying to get us to recover his stolen phylactery, the lich (Percival) asked the fatal question "What do they TEACH you in paladin school?!"
Rooster didn't even get to open his mouth. The entire party jumped in.
"Not to trust orphans!"
"To burn things and sow them with salt!"
"Hand out pamphlets!"
"...something about demon nipples!"
Rooster wiped a tear from his eye. "Awwwwww....you guys paid attention!" (Really, I felt the love!)
Some minutes later, Rooster conceived his Extremely Clever Plan. ("I have a 16 in Diplomacy! I can write laws!") While the team heads off to fight vampires and recover the phylactery, his Temple is pushing through legislation to make it illegal to return a phylactery to an evil creature within twenty miles of the city. (Yes, I actually wrote up the law.) The lich is Lawful Evil, ergo...
Our poor GM made many hand gestures. I didn't understand most of them. Much of the rest of the session was spent talking to guild lawyers and attempting to summon grassroots support in the bar. The rogue wanted to lobby the lich's HOA. All notions of combat soon fell by the wayside.
Also, our ranger attempted to interrogate a rat. It didn't go well. Maybe next week...