December 16th, 2013

breeden

In Which I Gush About Frozen For A Few Minutes

Yesterday Kevin and I went to see the Disney movie "Frozen." It is a Disney Princess movie, a genre of which I am generally skeptical.

And there were a couple of the usual problematic elements that Disney never seems able to fix--everybody's whiter than white and the princesses generally have a waist thinner than my wrist. I have a dream that we will get beyond this some day, but today was not that day.

There was also entirely too much singing for my taste: two really good songs, one cloying one, and at least one scene where I wanted to yell "Stop singing and talk to each other, goddamnit! Attempting to work through your respective communication issues will not be made easier by trying to rhyme!"

And all that said...

OH MY GOD I LOVED THIS MOVIE SO MUCH LET ME TELL YOU HOW MUCH I LOVED IT OH MY GOD

Dude.

Spoilers are going to happen here, so if you haven't seen it and want to, stop reading. I will attempt to make sure nothing jumps out at anyone by including this picture of a corgi.

DO NOT GO BEYOND THE CORGI. THE CORGI GUARDS THE PLOT INTEGRITY OF THE FILM.

corgidrawing001

YOU ARE NOW PAST THE CORGI.

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breeden

D&D: Someone For Everyone, More Or Less

We were fighting Briar Witch Dryads (We named them Holly and Tannenbaum) in the temple of Vecna when a thought suddenly occurred to Rooster the (well-meaning, not very bright) paladin.

ROOSTER: "Heyyyyyy, ladies...you know, we have a friendly wood-woad back home at the castle...all you'd have to do is renounce evil and I'd be happy to introduce you..."

(This is true. We befriended him some years ago, thereby derailing a great deal of plot. He lives in the orchard now.)

GM: "No. Just no. No. Anyway, you'll have to wait until your turn."

ME: "But I can roll Diplomacy on my turn?"

GM: "Fine, sure, whatever."

Rooster's turn rolls around...

ROOSTER: "So! Let me tell you about my friend Woad-Bob! He has his own wasp nest! Very...um...sexy bark? With...err...great...big..boles..."

GM: "I guess that's versus will, but..."

ME: (rolls high) "You know I have +19 to Diplomacy, right?"

GM: "...oh, you're f'ing kidding me!"

*pause for gentle sounds of GM head meeting keyboard*

GM: (grimly) "Tannenbaum would like to hear more about Woad-Bob."

ROOSTER: "I have a picture in my wallet!"

RANGER: "...why do you have pictures of the wood-woad in your wallet?"

ROOSTER: "It's not weird. I have everybody's picture. Drow-Bob...Woad-Bob...that one kobold with the thing on his head...the Hydra...You know, in case I meet a nice young monster looking to settle down."

RANGER: "How is that not weird?"

ROOSTER: *carefully hides the ranger's picture* "Check out Woad-Bob! Look at those branches! And his own orchard!"

GM: "The dryad leaves combat and is waiting to go back to the castle with you. Why. What is this. What. How?"