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breeden
ursulav

(no subject)

While I realize that accounts of magnetic-poetry-like spam recieved is by now trite, I was nevertheless impressed by this peculiar vignette at the bottom of an ad for Soma muscle relaxants from Canada* :

4The Vegetable Kingdom After the Wizard had wiped the dampness from his
sword and taken it apart and put the pieces into their leathern case again,
the man with the star ordered some of his people to carry the two halves of
the Sorcerer to the public gardens

What an odd thing to put in spam. I'm sure it's just to circumvent some filter or other, and yet, I am intrigued by what sort of public gardens these are that one can dump hemicorpectomied bodies there.




*Soma, as many anthropology majors who did a lot of drugs know, is a divine hallucinogen from India, widely believed to be derived from fly agaric mushrooms. The easiest way to concentrate it for maximum potency is to drink it. And then...drink it again. And again.** After a few runs through t'old urinary tract, it's potent enough to make you see god. However, I have already met a god on drugs, and while he was a pleasant sort, I would require a lot more incentive before drinking recycled Canadian urine.

**Kids, don't try this at home.


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That's a quote from Dorothy and the Wizard in Oz, the fourth Oz book written by L. Frank Baum. (He wrote 14, and then a cousin of his wrote approximately 6 bajillion more.)

And, no, the Vegetable Kingdom is not a nice place.

Also, they're taking the bisected Sorcerer to the public gardens to plant him, so that they can grow another one.

I took an entire class on mushrooms (I recommend the prof's book, "Magical mushrooms, mystical molds), and we learned all sorts of neat things about soma. Folks up north have been trampled to death by reindeer while taking a piss, since the reindeer are apparently really attracted to the stuff.

The mushrooms in Super Mario Brothers are based on Fly Agaric mushrooms, but no word on whether the real things make you grow bigger.

Public Service Announcement continued

Uh, I meant people who take soma, and then whiz near reindeer. Don't let this happen to you!

*pulls up a chair and breaks out the popcorn*

I wanna know about this god you met on drugs.

Though not demanding, if the experience was a private one, I must say I'd like to second that motion for more information on this drug-induced encounter with a deity.

The quote is actually, apparently, from a sequel to the Wizard of Oz, which I have not read, and in fact had not even heard about until just now, presumably because all my friends feared the explosive rage I would fly into when I did hear about it.

*Soma, as many anthropology majors who did a lot of drugs know, is a divine hallucinogen from India, widely believed to be derived from fly agaric mushrooms.

I was under the impression that it was mostly thought to be made from Ephedra vulgaris, but I'm not actually sure where I picked that up.

A little Googling shows me that the muscle relaxants my roommate takes go under the brand name Soma. Now I want her to grow huge and kill a dragon.

I am curious as to why you would be distressed by the existence of additional Oz books. If I recall correctly, virtually all of the Oz books were written long before the original story was translated into a highly innaccurate rendition on film (I know everybody has a soft spot for the Wizard of Oz movie, including myself, but let's face facts, the book and movie don't come from the same animal. The Return to Oz movie was actually considerably more true to the original text, oddly enough.). Distaste for sequels to a classic is the only reason I can think of why you would be upset about this. Is there another I have not considered?

It's from the fourth Oz book, "Dorothy and the Wizard In Oz".

The Sorcerer in question is a plant creature; his body will be planted, and a bush will sprout from it, from which a new Sorcerer will grow to serve the kingdom.

A spam tactic I've been seeing on and off seems to be including excerpts from whatever random text they can find in easily-manipulatable digital form.

...I knew I should've checked the comments to see if anyone else had mentioned it. Poo.

I'm pretty sure that's a snippet of "Dorothy and the Wizard in Oz". The Sorcerer is a vegetable gentleman, like an animate anthro-turnip.

And now I have an image of a turnip in robes and pointy hat throwing fireballs at people and turning them into brussle sprouts

-Big Dave

Now I remember Soma from Aldous Huxley's Brave New World :
"Hug me till you drug me, honey;
Kiss me till I'm in a coma;
Hug me, honey, snuggly bunny;
Love's as good as soma."
Still, he was probably half-stoned when he write it!

And don't forget,
"Half a gram is better than a damn."

(no subject) (Anonymous) Expand
From dictionary.com:

soma1 --An intoxicating or hallucinogenic beverage, used as an offering to the Hindu gods and consumed by participants in Vedic ritual sacrifices.

Which matches the definition described above. However, I've also heard it used by it's second definition:

soma2 --
1. The entire body of an organism, exclusive of the germ cells.
2. See cell body.
3. The body of an individual as contrasted with the mind or psyche.



For geek points, the third usage is from the Greek 'soma, somata' and is the root of 'psychosomatic'.

Not to mention the custom-made two-piece pool-cue sword.

im proud to leave the 43 comment on this pg. btw, i love that blind mouse and gryph picture.

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