But this afternoon, I took a nap, and jesus christ. I think I managed to top my all-time anxiety dreams. Trying to get ready for something Very Important--I think my wedding or a tax audit or something, and if we didn't get done on time, bad men would come and yell at us, or possibly kill us--and the cel phone explodes and catches fire on the floor, billowing black smoke. I throw the rug out the door, and the outside comes in. Not only was the house invaded by bugs/lizards/small animals, they were on fire while they invaded. Ropes of millipedes, on fire. Rat snake under my desk eating lizards? On fire. Jerboa (how the hell did a jerboa get in here?) trapped behind the TV? On fire. James was trying to make dinner, while I'm tearing around the room screaming about animals on fire, and James, GET THEM OUT OF HERE! (It was the millipedes. I could handle the rest, but the millipedes break me.) The floor was alive with little bits of green and blue fire, trundling in from outside. Outside. Where the aliens were lurking. And I had to go to the bathroom.
And Satan was singing in the background. No one will be surprised to learn that Satan sings with a distinct country twang, although I didn't expect him to be quite so nasal. Strangely, I actually remember a chunk of the song:
Nobody to the front of me
Nobody to the back of me
Nobody to the side of me
There must be nobody here but me..
It's about the two of us
Just the two of us
It's always about just the two of us...
I think that may be a real song, or chunks of a real song, and I should probably be grateful that Satan wasn't inclined to do "Total Eclipse of the Heart" or something, but still, I woke up from a sea of flaming animals and went "Oooooh...man, I'll be glad when this is over..."