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So. Um. Huh.


This is not an entry I particularly wanted to write, but since it'd be weird if I didn't--I record so many details of my life, and it'd be pretty obvious eventually if I was leaving it out--it looks like James and I are splitting.

Yeah, kinda sucks.

We're doing a trial seperation first. It's all very amicable and almost desperately congenial, nobody's really at fault, but, well....we had a bunch of good years, we got each other's careers started, and I've got no regrets. Still, we're both obsessive workaholics, and after awhile we just grew apart. We're great partners on the practical stuff, but eventually that's not gonna keep stuff going. So we'll take a few months, get the finances worked out, and I'll find a place of my own and...guess we'll see where life takes us after that. I'm not sure if I can make a living on my own on art and writing, but I'll give it a damn good try, and more than that, one cannot expect from life.

I'm alternating between calm and wrecked, as one might expect. Still, I'm taking it pretty well. The nice thing about the axe falling is that you're not worrying about whether the axe is going to fall.

So...well, there we are.

Funny the way life goes, sometimes. But as Grandma used to say--"This, too, shall pass."

Just coming in to offer my condolences - sure, there might be six pages so far, but a little more never hurt.

I hope it works out as best as it is able.

I only know you (and James) through your art and lj. Whatever happens, I hope the process causes the least pain possible. (I will be giving 'Archibald' a fine new home btw, once he arrives with the Actuarial Snail he's had as a travelling companion :)) Your art is fantastic and I hope it can give you some comfort if things get dark. *internet lurker hugs and sympathies*

"I am so sorry," "I hope you feel better soon," "I hope this is for the best"... All of these seem so meaningless in the face of my sorrow for what you're going through. I am greived to see you in anything but joy, because the awesomeness that is you deserves nothing less. We love you, Ursula! Good wishes and a bit of saddness from a +3 year lurker.

I am very sorry about this.

Auuuu. D: I really hope things work out for you. We're all rooting for you! *pompoms*

And as for the slash thing, yes, welcome to the Handbasket Express, stopping at all floors of all hells. I mean, go ahead and read the good stuff. The badfic will only make your hair come out in clumps.

Oh my. }:/

Best wishes, hopefully your career will take off like it really should! You're full of talent and mad l337 skillz, it would be a horrible injustice if people didn't recognize that.

I know there are probably a hundred better comments than the one I'm about to give, but I just wanted to express my support. I hope, and yet I'm entirely sure as well, that everything will be fine. It must just really, really suck to be going through... but I wish you all the strength in the world.

Gah, I am sorry things have turned out this way for you. Hang in there!
(I have no useful advice...sorry)

You've my deepest sympathies.

It's odd, but even though we've never met (indeed, I don't even actually know what you look like), I feel like a good friend has just told me their marriage is over. I've viewed your artwork and read your writing, and followed your life through your journal here for so long that I feel like I know you (even if you don't hardly know me from Adam). I feel crushed and depressed on your behalf. I'm very, very sorry, even if it is all amicable and congenial.

I know it won't make it all better, but let us know when the best time to buy some prints would be. Despite being a long-time admirer, I never actually have before (mostly because until recently I was too poor). I already intend to get a copy of your book when it does finally come out, but I'd like to do my part to try to make sure you're not struggling with practical things on top of emotional ones.

one more hug from a stranger

Yeah, I'm too lazy to sign up for an ID just for one post... Ursula, I know you don't know me from Adam, and I'll probably faint if you actually respond to this post, but I'm gonna say it anyway, and it's a dead serious offer - I live in the Triangle, not too far from you, and my husband and I have a house that's bigger than we need so I have three rooms that you'd be welcome to call your own until you figure out what's next. The house is old and in desperate need of redecorating but the important stuff all works and it comes with some cool amenities like broadband internet and my cooking (I really am a good cook, ask my husband :-D ) You'd even have your own outside door, and of course Ben is welcome.


Re: one more hug from a stranger

Aw, thank you! Y'know, I don't think it'll come to that, but there's a chance...

Argh, it sounded like you complemented each other wonderfully, sorry to hear you'll be splitting up. But if it's inevitable that it's not working out, it's time to move on. My best wishes to both of you.


Everything has been said.

We all still adore you. Hope the future brings brighter things.

It's a hard thing. In some ways, breaking up amicably is harder than hating each other. You don't get to do things like getting drunk and telling all your friends what a horrible pig he is, and you still care about each other. In the long run it's far nicer though... my short and sorrowful marriage in my 20s was very amicable. He and I have remained friends ever since, and we still have serious chemistry for each other, but we absolutely can't *be* together, it's toxic.

If you have a special friend or two who will let you do the rage thing and then wipe it from memory, it's not a bad thing to do; it's rather like lancing a boil, because even an amicable, friendly, caring breakup has anger and pain. Once that's cleaned out, healing proceeds far more rapidly.

On a sillier note, luchog and I will happily adopt you. You can move to the Pacific Northwest, home of all the best cartoonists and serial killers, as well as fascinating animals like a boa that appears to have a head at both ends. Thanks to that aforementioned marriage, I'm well-trained at dealing with muse-ridden people who are too busy drawing or painting to remember little details like food or sleep :-)

I hope everything works out in whatever way is best for the both of you. Remember we're all thinking kindly of you.