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So. Um. Huh.


This is not an entry I particularly wanted to write, but since it'd be weird if I didn't--I record so many details of my life, and it'd be pretty obvious eventually if I was leaving it out--it looks like James and I are splitting.

Yeah, kinda sucks.

We're doing a trial seperation first. It's all very amicable and almost desperately congenial, nobody's really at fault, but, well....we had a bunch of good years, we got each other's careers started, and I've got no regrets. Still, we're both obsessive workaholics, and after awhile we just grew apart. We're great partners on the practical stuff, but eventually that's not gonna keep stuff going. So we'll take a few months, get the finances worked out, and I'll find a place of my own and...guess we'll see where life takes us after that. I'm not sure if I can make a living on my own on art and writing, but I'll give it a damn good try, and more than that, one cannot expect from life.

I'm alternating between calm and wrecked, as one might expect. Still, I'm taking it pretty well. The nice thing about the axe falling is that you're not worrying about whether the axe is going to fall.

So...well, there we are.

Funny the way life goes, sometimes. But as Grandma used to say--"This, too, shall pass."

Wow. I'm so sorry to hear that (like everyone else reading this journal). All of your fans support you, and re: the career in art/writing, I will absolutely buy everything you ever publish :). Your certainly talented enough to make a go of it.

Your Grandma is a wise woman. Best wishes and good luck to both of you.

(and prepare yourself to be flooded with marriage proposals from adoring fans).

Yet another random internet fan chiming in to say how sorry I am to hear this! Good luck to you, and as someone else said, don't be afraid to mention if you ever need to sell a few prints! I could always have more of your artwork on my walls!

I am very sorry for the both of you *hugs* Crap happens :( and whether it's gently or painfully, it still stinks. Idealistically I would hope that you two would just need some time apart for meditation and soul-searching and all that good hippie stuff and in the end that your paths would cross again. However sometimes things work out idealistically and sometimes they don't. That's life for you. I guess the best we can do is take the lessons if any and push forward. I do wish you both the best of luck tho and again I am truly sorry :(

That definitely wasn't expected (neither was the realization that I follow your life like a tv series...)

I hope everything works out well. If it's any consolation you aren't the only one that such a thing happens too. A good friend of mine went through that kind of a split- they just kind of drifted apart and eventually broke apart. They are still good friends they just aren't anything more.

Good luck and here's to everything passing without major trauma

Yes, life goes as it goes (and sometimes gives me the feeling I'm just being carried by the current).
Treasure everything good.

Eh...now...somehow I feel like inviting Ursula to my little hut in the middle of nowhere...

Oh man, that sucks. Ursula, I can empathize: you may not know me from Adam, but I'm a fan and occasional commenter, and I also ... nearly ... split up with my wife last year. It sounds as though you and James have already more or less finalized your decision, but if you wish to work on staying/getting back together, then I have two bits of advice.

One, get thee to a marriage counselor. You and James together if you can, just you otherwise. If you don't like the first one, find one you do like. I can't begin to express how important this is. Our therapist didn't work miracles, but she guided us to think and talk and listen and say/do what we both wanted to say and do, but didn't know how to get there.

Two, read Passionate Marriage by David Schnarch. This book gave my wife and me the conceptual framework and vocabulary to work together to address what was wrong in our relationship. Among other things, it points out how "growing apart" happens to all couples and what it means. The key is to hold on to yourself—in proximity to your partner.

For the better part of a year, I was the "champion of hope" in my marriage, carrying the banner of confidence that things would all work out eventually. Then, for a month or so, I was convinced my wife was definitely leaving, and plunged into despair. Then I came to accept that if that were to happen, life would go on; almost immediately after that, we reached a turning point and our relationship improved.

Oh gods. I wish I had the words. I'm so sorry; I wish you the best. Whatever that turns out to be.

Hey, you don't know me, I'm just a fan. But I'm really sorry...
Aw crap, there's nothing I can say that will sound anything approaching right.
I'm sorry.

I'm so sorry to read this, Ursula. You and James are both such wonderful, fun people and Jon and I feel priviledged to know you and have gotten to hang out a few time over the years. I hope that things go smoothly for you both (and the kitty kids) and you come out some place happy and healthy.

If you end up looking towards moving back to MN, we'd be happy to put you up for a few days or help you move again.

Our thoughts are with you and James.
Lots of love,
Melissa and Jon


Wow. This sorta seems like it's coming out of left field. I really, really, really things work out for you both. But most of all, you, to be brutally honest. You're one of the few people I'd actually GO to a furry Con for. You're just too awesome to have something like this happen to!

Anywho, I do really hope you two work things out. If you're not mad, or hurt, then I think with a little priority shuffling, you both can make it work.

Again, I hope everything works out for the best.


I'm so sorry for you both.

Good luck, whatever happens next.

I wish the best for both of you, and the most joy in your lives.
I'm not exactly the first to comment, so I'm not sure there is much else I can say.

As I'm sure you've noticed from the seven pages worth of comments, you rock and we wish you all the best. I hope everything works out for you. Best of luck with life's left turns.

I know "I'm sorry" doesn't really cover it in situtions like this, but you'll be in my thoughts.

If worse comes to worse, have you decided the arrangements for the cats?

Yeah, we've got plenty of cat options, so that shouldn't be a problem, hopefully.


I hope everything turns out in a way you like.

I'm so sorry. I only know you from LJ and DA, but when someone like you gives all of us so much joy and laughter I want nothing but for you to experience it all back, with interest. Life happens, I suppose. Best wishes to you and James. One more e-hug.