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breeden
ursulav

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So. Um. Huh.

Well.

This is not an entry I particularly wanted to write, but since it'd be weird if I didn't--I record so many details of my life, and it'd be pretty obvious eventually if I was leaving it out--it looks like James and I are splitting.

Yeah, kinda sucks.

We're doing a trial seperation first. It's all very amicable and almost desperately congenial, nobody's really at fault, but, well....we had a bunch of good years, we got each other's careers started, and I've got no regrets. Still, we're both obsessive workaholics, and after awhile we just grew apart. We're great partners on the practical stuff, but eventually that's not gonna keep stuff going. So we'll take a few months, get the finances worked out, and I'll find a place of my own and...guess we'll see where life takes us after that. I'm not sure if I can make a living on my own on art and writing, but I'll give it a damn good try, and more than that, one cannot expect from life.

I'm alternating between calm and wrecked, as one might expect. Still, I'm taking it pretty well. The nice thing about the axe falling is that you're not worrying about whether the axe is going to fall.

So...well, there we are.

Funny the way life goes, sometimes. But as Grandma used to say--"This, too, shall pass."


I'm so very sorry to hear of this and hope you are okay in the immediate future. :)

Holy 8 pages of comments, Batman. At least you know you're cared about.

There's obviously nothing new left to say, but I'm joining the sympathy bandwagon anyway. Hope you'll be okay (though, with your personality and spirit, I highly doubt you won't be).

Thank you for telling us all something that is none of our business but that we'd hate not to be aware of...

In that spirit (if it makes any sense at all), I'm sorry to hear it, wish you both all the best for whichever way the future takes you, and hope you both manage to salvage something good from the wreckage.

Well, damn. I'm sorry you're having to go through this, but glad to hear you're coping well. Hang in there.

(Deleted comment)
*grin* I think it'll be possible. Hold off for a bit, but I'm hoping for a smooth transition.

Well... shit.

I'm so sorry to hear this. I wish there was something I could do to help you through this. Please, if there's anything your legion of LJ friends can do for you, let us know!

Your grandma has a good point, but even the most amicable circumstances hurt while you're living in them.

Good luck with whatever path you decide to take on this one, remember you have lots of friends and fans who wish you the best.

Though come to think of it, after 8 pages I reckon you've got the hint :)

I'm sorry about you and James. Best of luck to you (and him) however this works out.

I'm sorry and surprised.(Because I'm one of these people that think "A garden is forever")
Best wishes and good luck to you and James.
..a cup of tea too.

And ..uh, if you will do a "striking out on my own" print run I'll be on.


Wow. Eight pages worth of people have already said it, but I'll add my own I'm so sorry to hear this and I wish all the best for you both.

Since the cats and the garden have been addressed, what keeps running through my head is "Who's going to run out and buy Ursula video games when she's desperately in need, and who's going to make her dinner?" I'm in a bad way financially this semester, but with 8 pages worth of well-wishers (and probably more lurking) let us know if you need video games and food sent. As you can see, we're more than happy to help out any way we can.

Shit.. indeed. :(

I'll say hear, hear to those who offered tea, hugs, well wishes and extra pennies on a potential 'starting fresh' print run.

I went through something very similar myself just a few months back. We didn't know why we were doing it anymore.. why we were even bothering to stay with each other. We'd been through so much together and we honestly thought that all of the reasons for being a couple had dissipated.

That was six months ago.

Today, we're back together and planning a wedding for September. If you had asked me 4 months ago if I thought we'd make it, I would have snorted and then laughed until my pants were wet, but sitting where I am now, I can honestly say that we can never see all sides of the situations we're faced with until we're looking back on them.

I, too, will secretly hope that you find whatever it is that your relationship is missing. But even if that doesn't happen, I can guarantee that you'll be ok. Not because I know you super well or because I have some inside scoop... but because I believe in who you are and know that all of us, who read your journal, love your art, secretly harbour a love-hate relationship with how incredibly talented you are ;), see that no matter what the forces of life toss at Ursula, she will make it. It's who you are.

So, if you need extra tissues, different types of tea, a shoulder and a hug, or just to be in the presence of those who understand that silent belief in life's plans sometimes speaks more than any amount of reassurance or hugs can...

... though offers of hugs and tea are still on the table. :)

Andrea

When you are settled, and post that you are ready to get back into the swing of things, I will support you in the only way I know how - by supporting your art.

There are several pieces I've planned to buy as prints, but held off for various reasons. But I admire and love your work and will be very happy to know that my purchase of prints (when you're ready to fulfill the order) will help you support yourself working as an artist and writer.

Same here. I've also been meaning to buy some prints, but simply haven't gotten around to it, let alone the fact that most of my spare money gets sucked away into books before I can order the prints. So I'll make a point to set some money aside and actually order those prints when Ursulav gets back up and running.

aauugghrr. i'm sorry to hear it, and having been thru the same myself (at about the same age, methinks), i know how difficult it is, especially the raw newness. the grief comes in waves, as does the relief. the new stuff (where am i going to live, who am i going to be on my own) can be totally overwhelming and terrifying, yet at some points invigorating and exciting.

it is SO much to go through.

my divorce was also amicable, which makes it harder, i think. i spent many hours wishing my ex was a total fuckwit, so i could hate him and therefore work with another, easier emotion than grief. however, it took about a year to really process thru and get into a much better place, and here, 12 (or so) years later, i feel a faint sadness that it didn't work, but we are still great friends, so there's that.

i guess i'm posting all this because it may help your process. and, hey, if you want to email offline for support, i'm around. may seem bizarre to offer, but crap, sometimes your online friends (or strangers, heh) get it more than your realtime ones.

big hugs and much luck in diving in...