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Well. Here we are.

Today is the first day of the rest of...

Nah, I'm not so far gone that that'll help.

Today is...awkward. And uncomfortable, and I am bloody terrified, as one might expect. But I am not here to whine--already got one heckuva outpouring of support from you guys, and I appreciate it greatly. Time to get movin'  forward.

Since I am moping a bit, however, I hereby vow to contain all such maunderings behind Ye Olde Cut Tag, so that those of you who have come to expect a certain level of upbeat wackiness not be dragged along. Believe me, I hate moping, too, and I'm hoping to inflict as little of it as possible 'pon the world!

I've gotten some very good advice from...well, everybody, really! But I think the best bit came from my stepfather, who said, with his usual succinctness, "Stay busy."

Ties in with something I've seen myself write any number of times--the great cure for all grief is hard work.

Of course...it's probably weird or self-referential to take comfort from one's own writing--particularly one's early writing!--but I keep thinking about Black Dogs and a scene where Lyra is stuck in a ventilation duct and thinks something to the effect that "Well, this is always what it comes down to in the end, being alone with yourself in the dark." She's young and in love, the way I was when I wrote it, but even then, I knew enough to write that. Which probably says something cynical about me, or not.

Now I just gotta figure out what to do from here.

This weekend we'll go over the finances and see what there is to see. And presumably I'll know a little better then what I can afford, and whether I'll be beating the bushes for roommates and rooms to let, or whether I can go for an apartment on my own. Even a studio apartment would be good, particularly if I can keep Ben.

I'm probably gonna get a part time job, as much to get out of the house and provide me with some sense of schedule as for the money. Even a day or two a week at the art supply store would be good, and shouldn't cut into the serious art time much.

The "striking out on my own!" print series is an interesting idea, although I don't have an image yet. But we'll see.

The practical and financial stuff scares me. I mean, I know I should manage--I supported two people by working temp jobs in a little rat-hole apartment in St. Paul for over a year, I kept us afloat freelancing for months when James's company tanked. If I can support two people and two cats, I can surely support one and one cat! I just have that stone-in-the-chest terror of being broke that many of us probably know.

But I've updated the webpage with a few new originals, and I'm gonna try to do some inexpensive pencil pieces and just keep plugging along. And if worse comes to worse, I'll throw open the commissions again.

And so...life goes on.

Stayin' busy.

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Best advice, stay busy. *nod*

Good luck with it.

I was very sad to read about your breakup with James, and I'd like to throw my support in with the rest of your fans.

Just some thoughts... I suggested earlier that you do an "unsold print of the week" thing where you post again about originals you haven't sold that you'd like to. That would probably also help generate some cash. (I, for example, am looking for a wedding present for friends and I suspect that if the right original Ursula V. came to my attention that might be an excellent gift! But I'm kind of too lazy to wander through your catalog looking for which pictures have unsold originals.)

We're cheering for you.

There is a category called "originals for sale"

It's generally better to acknowledge change and adapt, rather than clinging to something that's not there any more. Good luck with the period of adaptation. Hopefully it'll be as smooth as it can be, for both of you. :)

I would make noises about me and my boyfriends having too much space for what we use, but I don't think you want to move to frozen Boston!

Schedules are good, income is good. And god, I know that terror.

Frozen Boston? It was 68 degrees on Saturday (yes I know it was a fluke but 68 in January!?!)


Except that it sounded like from your initial post that 'stayin' busy' is what drove you two apart in the first place.

I'm not sure how committed you two are about working things out, but based upon the tiny bit of knowledge your fans have, that sounds like the worst piece of advice.

From what it sounds like, it sounds like you two need to stop making your career your marriage, and your marriage your career. It depends on what you feel is the higher priority, I guess. If you swear more love and loyalty to your jobs than each other, then I guess it's over.

Sorry if I'm sounding harsh. I'm merely stating my opinion based on given information. Usually these things are far more complex.

That was awfully uncalled for. And putting a "sorry to sound harsh" bit at the end doesn't soften the blow.

Really. She doesn't need this crap. I keep seeing all these posts speckled about that seem to be down on them for not working hard enough blah blah blah. I'm guessing mostly from the "divorce is a sin" crowd though I could be incorrectly assuming. You don't know, you can't know, why salt a wound?

(sorry to Urs for potential drama, but that raised my hackles a hell of a lot)

Not much I can offer in the way of suggestions that haven't already come up. But keep us fans posted, so if/when there is something we can do (promote sales, order books, help with the housemate search, etc.), we can all jump in as a massive horde!

Thereby scaring away all potential housemates/landlords with our overzealous love! Like a one ton slobbering golden retreiver made out of people!

Mope all you want. I've got a few cut tags with "livejournal whine therapy", and it did help a little bit, if for no other reason than because sometimes my fingers said something my brain hadn't quite figured out yet.

::goes to look at your site, perchance to order::

Just some odd love and support from a fan of your style. Keep hangin' in. *love* *support*


That's all, just hugs.

*hugs* *support*
And hey, now that That Season is over, I can send you regular payments on kingfisher again.

Just keep breathing. That's all that any of us can do when faced with piles of stress and worry. Breathe and remember that this, too, shall pass (I know you heard it from your grandmother, but my stepfather tells me it when things get bad. I think it helps).

It's a rare relationship between creative workaholics that can endure, especially if one or both is saying "Hey... wasn't there supposed to be more than this?" My wife had been through that twice when I found her, and sometimes I do find myself wondering if she's devoted to me, or dreading the title of "three-time loser." Much as you'll try to avoid it, distract yourself with work, and tough it out, this is going to dominate your life for awhile, and that's just how it is. So be generous, patient and understanding with yourself. You're entitled to be maybe a teeny bit messed up. Hey, look at the bright side; at least you're not infested with parasites.

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Man, I wish I could've afforded to do that.

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It is! And it did get lost, and I would luv to send it off to a good home! I'll send ya an e-mail...