So I go to Stein Mart, which has the advantage of being dirt cheap, and I find some pants, and all is right with the universe.
And then the woman who checks me out, who seemed distracted and vague even at the time (as well as badly flustered with the cash register) fails to remove the hard plastic anti-shoplifting devices, leaving me with an armload of pants with large plastic accessories.
So I have to go back tomorrow and try to convince them I am not pulling some elaborate scam...unless my readership, who knows all things, can tell me how to get the damn things off with a screwdriver/safety pin/hammer/cat.
I promise, I'm not going to use the knowledge for evil, I just want my own pants that do not include nether ventilation!
They're not the ink tags, I don't think. They're a big hunk of cream plastic with a sort of pyramid on one side, and it looks like a large metal pin sticks through the cloth, and has a kind of cream-plastic nipple on the other side.