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breeden
ursulav

He'll Be Defective Soon...

This morning as I went out to pick up yesterday's mail, I saw a squirrel plummet two stories from the roof of the building and land on the sidewalk about three feet away with a loud slap, like a dry towel smacking the pavement.

"Whoa!" I said to the stunned rodent. "You okay little guy?"

The squirrel shook himself off, gave me a scornful look, and ran somewhat unsteadily off across the lawn.

I looked up and saw a second squirrel on the roof, peering over, who turned and scurried off.

Being me, I immediately began constructing scenarios in my head--were they playing chicken? Had one squirrel pushed the other? Was the squirrel on the roof thinking some variation on "Oh god, oh god, what am I going to tell Mom, oh god..."

Given the capacity of wild animals to survive shocking injuries, I sort of wonder if the squirrel was really okay, or if one more Gimpy the Squirrel will appear in the next few weeks...


"OK, Vito. Chucky is now sleeping wit da humans."

I bet the second one was checking the truth of what his mom said that morning, "So if Jimmy jumped off a bridge, you would too?" Lack of bridges led to building substitution, evidently.

Considering the time of year, maybe it was a female desperately trying to escape from unwanted attention?

Probably a mating chase gone bad; I've heard of squirrels dying from falls during particularly vicious mating chases. Not that that makes the scenario any better, but given the time of year, it seems the likely cause.

Though I'm rather fond of the "playing chicken" scenario.

that same thing has happened twice in my yard... well without the other squirrel pearing down out of the tree. its kinda freaky when it happens. the first one landed about 1 foot in front of me, one more step and it would have been my head (that wouldn't have been fun)

Perhaps these were squirrels in the middle of ninja training, and something went wrong.

I'm putting my money on the "second squirrel pushed the first one" theory.

Defectoids

(Anonymous)
I saw a squirrel with a bad humpback and a ratlike tail on my campus last week, and thought of you. And then I pictured a small mammal version of Frankenstein, which naturally led to shrews carrying a dinosaur brain around. You've really got the the small cute surreal rodent market cornered, Ursula.
-Pester

We had a possum fall at least 20 ft onto our roof. It actually broke the beam that supports the roof of the varandah, brush tail possums in Australia being more than a touch larger than a squirrel. But its fine. It still steals the soap from our bathroom window.

I reject your pecan and substitute my own.

Actually, what you encountered were the legendary "MythSquirrels" - Jamie Hynesquirrel and Adam Squeaky. You probably couldn't see Hynesquirrel's moustache from where he was up on the roof. Adam was obviously prepping for busting the myth that cats always land on their feet. He never busts a myth without testing it on himself. As for the look, well, he was probably trying to tell you not to try that at home, since he and Hynesquirrel are professionals.

I understand that next week they'll be working on the myth that a blind squirrel will find a nut once in his life.

I found this post most amusing today. I neglected to check LJ over the weekend,I know, terribly remiss!! It was a great kicker to the site of a rather flattened obviously taking quite the dirtnap. It looked like he'd maybe just tried to sniff something on the ground and had gotten squashed. Damn lack of digital camera for pics!!! Anyway, loved the story.

I think your squirrel will be fine. Smaller bodies can survive further falls. One of my bio profs said that a mouse could be dropped from Storke Tower (big bell tower on the UCSB campus) and survive. Has something to do with the surface area:volume ratio, I think.
Your personified squirrel thoughts are awesome, though. XD

This song immediatelly popped into my head:

"Squirrel ::plingplingplingpling:: You'll be defective.... soon."

http://telophase.livejournal.com/853078.html#cutid1

Lots of in-line photos. Of 1/2 a squirrel. Though it's not terribly graphic, you may wish to hold off if it is not a good time to view such things!

Hope this amuses and that you are well!