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He'll Be Defective Soon...

This morning as I went out to pick up yesterday's mail, I saw a squirrel plummet two stories from the roof of the building and land on the sidewalk about three feet away with a loud slap, like a dry towel smacking the pavement.

"Whoa!" I said to the stunned rodent. "You okay little guy?"

The squirrel shook himself off, gave me a scornful look, and ran somewhat unsteadily off across the lawn.

I looked up and saw a second squirrel on the roof, peering over, who turned and scurried off.

Being me, I immediately began constructing scenarios in my head--were they playing chicken? Had one squirrel pushed the other? Was the squirrel on the roof thinking some variation on "Oh god, oh god, what am I going to tell Mom, oh god..."

Given the capacity of wild animals to survive shocking injuries, I sort of wonder if the squirrel was really okay, or if one more Gimpy the Squirrel will appear in the next few weeks...

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For some reason, from the description, I am picturing more of a squirrel mafia thing going on, where the next time gimpy-to-be messes up, there might be four little concrete shoes involved.

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"Oh, ----! The don's gonna whack me for messing up the hit!"

And Ursula witnessed the botched murder-disguised-as-suicide. She knows too much now.

Oh no! quick, get her into a witness protection scheme, before european squirrels in black suits turn up.

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