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Belladonna Modern

So today I went into the optometrist to see if the recent blurring at the edge of my vision was a sign that I needed glasses.

After testing everything thoroughly, he delivered the verdict--I've always had extraordinarily good vision, and now, age has rendered it merely perfectly 20/20. (It's probably sad when your optometrist says "Cry me a river.") So no glasses yet. In a few more years, maybe, he says if I notice it going to the point where it bothers me, come back in, but I'm unlikely to wear 'em if I get 'em now, so it's all good.

And they did all the little tests, which involve the drops that dilate your pupils.

I've never had that done before.

It's...something else, all right.

"Wow," I said, hanging out in the waiting room, "my pupils haven't been this dilated since college!"

One of the receptionists looked at me with a vague, puzzled look, and the other did a spit take with his coffee and said "Yeah, just don't get pulled over...they never believe you..."

They performed the glaucoma test a few minutes later. "Hmm, glaucoma..." I said, "izzat the one where you get medical marijuana?"

"Sure!" The doctor grinned. "We sell it right out back. Medical...non-medical...whatever."

I have found a stoner optometrist. Life is good.

Myself, I'm not sure that a stoned doctor is a good thing.

A stoner doctor is not at all the same thing as a stoned doctor.

Habitual use of marijuana does not imply that one attempts to conduct one's business under the influence.

My optometrist, when I got Transition lenses last year, opined that they were really good for coping with the rapid changes between darkness and bright sunlight that one runs into when bar-hopping.

A stoner eye doc?
Man - I'll have you know my screen is spattered with coffee - probably some of which was the stuff coming out my nose! I should know better than to read your blog while consuming anything. Someday I will aspirate!

I have always said that when they dilate my eyes it's what I guess being stoned is like.
(OK, I'm a wus, I've never even tried the stuff.)
I like driving home at twilight and watching all the haloed rays of light around things.

Yeah, it's nothin' like that. It's not entirely unlike the visual distortion at the preliminary stages of an acid trip, but that's about the closest equivalent.

Either that or you've got a chiropractor optometrist (i.e., he's pulling your leg :) ).


that's hilarious =)

Help an old stoner out, would'ja? My vision's getting sorta blurred and my sex drive needs a boost, too.

What's his name? I live fairly close to you, I think, and I would totally give some serious business to an optometrist with a sense of humor. (Mine does not have any at all, a serious failing in my world.)

Hell, I'll *drive* down to Raleigh, just to experience the stoner doctor. And to think, I just made an appointment with a perfectly ordinary, non-stoner one.

I've always had extraordinarily good vision, and now, age has rendered it merely perfectly 20/20.

I know precisely what you mean. I'm down to around 20/20 now when I've always been able to read signs when my friends couldn't even see them. My vision is still far better than most people, but not nearly as good as it used to be.

I would love to know what you mean :/. I've had glasses since I was three- I have my pupils dilated on a regular basis because my eyes are so bad I'm at risk for retinal tearing >.>.

The worst part is when the optometrist shines that ridiculously bright light into your dilated eye and asks you not to blink -_-

Mine went "down" to 20/20 in high school. I too went to the doctor thinking I needed glasses. Now, I'm pushing 30, and it's still about the same. Here's hoping it stays that way.

*snerk!* You'd think I'd be able to find a guy like that out here in Cali! Not yet... *grin*

Seriously, I got the same talk from my doc when they tested mine and I was complaining about a lack of a certain... j'une c'est quoi. Testing revealed my eyesight had deteriorated to just better than 20/20. WHAT? MY SUPERHUMAN VISION! NOOOOO!

Might it have been je ne sais quoi?

Oh, you wouldn't know, that's kind of the point. :)

Drive-by french correction! Bang!

Not usually a grammar nazi, but you people and your perfect vision are irritating squinty nearsighted me. :P

(no subject) (Anonymous) Expand
I remember during once of my dilation-drops, they ended up giving me way more in one eye accidentally, causing me to end up with one relatively large pupil and one that nearly blanked out the iris. To this day I regret that I didn't take pictures, 'cause if I grimaced the right way I seriously looked mutated.

To my knowledge, though, none of the eye doctors were stoners, which is a shame. That sounds just plain cool.