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Man, the Transformers movie kicked ass!

It's not so much that it was a good movie as that it was very, very fun. Explosions! Planes! Tanks! More explosions! And it was the Transformers, so c'mon! Granted the source material, I don't think it could have been notably improved. Optimus Prime's dialog was hokey, but really, it was Optimus Prime. Goes with the territory.

And Hugo Weaving was the voice of Megatron. Which means that Megatron needed more lines...

Deathless, no. But very fun if, like me, you had no expectations and like to watch giant robots hurt each other.

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Talk about "coitus interruptus"!

You're thinking you're all smooth, you're making your way around the bases, you start swearing to your god and on your mother's grave that you'll love her to the end of time* and BAM! Ass over elbows, aroused teenagers flying through the air.

Oh man. I'm going to have to refrain from making a pillows joke.

*I like Meatloaf. So sue me

*snort* He could aim them off that cliff.

My friends and I figured that when the inevitable teen pregnancy ensues, the kids'll have to finish high school and get jobs while Bumblebee watches the baby. We're going to pitch this as a hilarious spinoff sitcom. Seriously. Picture him trying to change a diaper or make some formula. Comedy gold!

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