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Hello, Rock Bottom.

The nice thing about hitting rock bottom, I gotta say, is that you genuinely learn who your friends are. Who's gonna save you, and who isn't. I have an astonishing number of friends. You hear yourself whining, and you can't stop, and you despise yourself for it, and they just keep listening. I first realized this during my divorce, of course, but I wasn't as far down, so it wasn't quite such an astonishing display of caring. They keep calling me and IMing me, and you guys have, of course, been very kind, despite the fact that I stopped being funny a couple of days ago and am now a sniveling wreck.  I feel loved.

The not-so-nice thing about hitting rock bottom is that glum realization that you have never been that good a friend to anyone, you never called anybody three times a day to see if they were okay, you didn't exactly shirk from uncontrollable weeping, but you sure didn't court it, and in short, that if you were your friends, you'd be totally boned.

Fortunately in life, as Granny Weatherwax would say, sometimes we get things we don't deserve.

I promise now, O blog of my confessions, that when this is over, when I finally crawl out of this dark hole...I'll be a better friend when my own friends sink into despair, and I will offer them couches and chocolate and take them out to coffee and IM them constantly. 

I promise.

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*hugs* It's those points that teach you things about yourself and the people you know. The good people are the ones who learn from the experience and apply it later on.

I've long thought that, through the course of life, one must at least once be the one who falls apart, and at least once be fallen apart on. You need to see both sides. (I also think one should also be both the sloppy drunk who needs to be taken care of, and the person taking care of the sloppy drunk.)

There are a variety of breaking points. I've learned a lot from the times I've hit the wall. Sometimes, the universe hands you a surprise that gets you out. Sometimes you just have to pull back and regroup. Once in a while, you wind up having to let someone else drive for a while. All of this is a bit easier when you realize that everyone hits points like this. It just means that you're human.

I'm just a fan. I don't know you personally (though from your journal I'm sure I'd get along with you well in person). If I were anywhere near where you are, I'd be offering more direct help. Since I'm nowhere near you geographically, the best I can do is offer virtual hugs and sympathy. And I really hope that things get better soon!

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