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Well, the plane ticket's bought, my dear friend Deb* is waiting to offer me the crash space, the car will be shipped--no, dear readers, I may have made some very VERY stupid mistakes recently, but trying to drive back across Texas on my own in this state is an idiocy too far even for me--and I should be back in Raleigh by the end of the week. (Couldn't do the tourism thing. I am not feeling much enjoyment of anything at this point. Better to fly out later and visit Carlota for a few weeks sometime when I can actually enjoy shit.) This ill-considered jaunt cost me most of my book advance, but hey, there's no point to money if you don't spend it.

Besides, it was a journey of self-discovery. Like a vision quest, only...y'know...dreadful. Well, some vision quests are probably dreadful, too.

Possibly I should have bought the stuffed jackalope back in Las Cruces....

I'm waiting on a call back from the doctor, to arrange an appointment and to see if I can get some kind of stop-gap meds to get me through the next week. People keep telling me that it's okay to go on drugs, it's not a failure, and I feel obligated at this point to say that gang, you are preachin' to the choir. I am all ABOUT drugs. Bring on the seratonin and the MAO inhibitors! Bring on the polysyllabic names! I feel no shame, no guilt, no moral qualms on that front. If the devil himself reached a hand down into the hole, I'd grab for it--psychopharmacology is a much lesser evil.

Better living through chemistry, sez I.

*Everybody tell Deb how awesome she is. Also, she's Sabrina Jeffries, famous romance author, in her spare time, which is another kind of awesome.

sweetie, i wish you weren't leaving us but i much rather would have you feel safe and secure. :::hugs you and the ben:::

i can get you a jackalope.

I admire you. You have the courage to listen to yourself and embrace the change it brings; even if it's scary change. Not a lot of folks can do that. :)

Deb, you're awesome. :)

Good luck, Ursula.

You don't want MAOIs, you want SSRIs. Antidepressants.

I'm really sorry you weren't out here long enough to meet'cha, but I hope this works out for you. I've really hated reading you unhappy; you're normally one of the happier (sounding) people on my FL.

Maois and Ssris sound like some sort of ancient tribes, come to think of it.

(Deleted comment)
I'm so sorry we couldn't help out enough to make you feel ok out here. Make sure you let me know when you're coming back to visit so I can say hi, too.

Stay safe, and please feel better!
Luck and Love to your friend!

Deb, you're awesome!

Ursula, I'm glad you're headed back to where you know you've got some equilibrium. Best of luck.

Hurrah! :D As soon as you get home, Ursula, your free time is belong to me! ^_^

Good luck. And no kicking yourself, or dwelling on this. If in some future time, you find yourself thinking about relocating, don't look back on this on as a 'missed opportunity', because it was an opportunity you took and grasped hard on but just didn't work out.

Deb, you're awesome!
Ursula, you're awesome, too! Ultimately, you will get a lot out of this sojourn, even though it's been pretty horrendous. But you know that.

I lost track - where's Ben? One thing that always helps me is critter time.

Give me a poke sometime and we'll hit the Rockford (or some other place) and grab food and sketch.

Just wow. I'm so sorry things have been so sucky lately. I won't waste time on platitudes you're already heard. Just know that people do care what you're going through. And bring on those drugs!

Much awesomeness, for awesome Deb and awesome Ursula.

And yes, vision quests are legendarily unpleasant - anyone who thinks they can have a nice safe vision quest on a Saturday afternoon while drinking tea hasn't done enough reading on the subject.

I sincerely hope the magic happy pills do indeed make for magic happy. *nod* *hugs*

Hi Deb, you're awesome! Next time I feel the urge to read romance I'll pick up one of yours.

Hi Ursula, you're awesome! Everyone I know is getting Digger for Christmas. =)

You totally should pick up SJ novels. They are AWESOME (for romance novels).