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breeden
ursulav

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Another day, another side-effect!

I didn't feel as generally lousy today as yesterday. What I did feel was faint. As a sensation, it was pretty much identical to when you haven't eaten in long enough that you're weak and shaky.  Lots of faint muscular tremors, mild queasiness, vague desire to put back of wrist to forehead and swoon. (Alas, while I have never fainted in my life, I suspect that I would not swoon delicately, but would rather go down like a felled ox, just because...y'know. Some of us were not Born to Swoon.)

Had the standard nausea for part of the day, but it passed off by dinner. Unfortunately, my poor innards have been so turned around by the side-effects that now I can't tell if I'm hungry or not. (Deb: "Are you hungry?" Ursula: "Hmmm...that's an interesting question...") I ate as much as possible anyway, just on principle.

Whether as a side-effect of the faintness or something unrelated, I spent much of today feeling sort of detached. It's still kind of like being sick in that regard, the sensation of being at one step removed from reality. The English language lacks sufficient vocabulary to encompass altered states, unfortunately, so I can't describe it much better than that. I take refuge again in my misspent youth--I feel a LOT like the day after an acid trip, which is a peculiar vague full-body hangover, often with moping.

Sadly, the physical detachment does not include emotional detachment, so I'm still lugging around the lead weight  under my sternum. Still, hopefully in a few weeks, that'll get dealt with too. Got my copy edits mailed off, and tomorrow the computer should arrive, so hopefully I'll get back to at least running off prints here soon. 

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Are you taking an SSRI? My first two weeks starting on Efexxor were like that. Apparently, most people get this... zippy thing. Like moving and leaving your limbs and brain behind, accompanied by a kind of old record noise.

I wanted to throw in the towel, but I didn't. Now I only get... zippy things... when I forget to take a dose.

Yeah... those were the times. Not good ones, but certainly trippy.

I forgot to say: zippy things include electric shocks. I remember doing a choir concert, high soprano, while internally shocking myself. Talk about feelings of insanity. =p

Oh my god! I cannot express how happy I am that this happened to someone else. I didn't get them often at all, being counterbalanced with a med with the opposite effects, but... When I did... damn, it freaked me out. You described it beautifully. It felt like a momentary short-circuit of my brain.

Anyway. Whew.

Apperently, with ssri's they are common enough to have been given the term "brain zaps"

Oh, yes, do keep eating!

That's a common thing with some antidepressants. Don't let the drugs fool you.

The detachment should go away as well, or get replaced by enough emotional detachment to let you feel better.

If the side effects don't go away within a couple of weeks, though, do let your doc know!

Hang in there!

I've been taking Effexor XR since March of 2006. I haven't felt hungry since March of 2006. Getting the "appetite suppression" side effect is kinda annoying, but I guess it's way better than "weight gain" crappola (especially since I could conceivably be on meds for the rest of my life - yaaay, major depressive disorder!).

Born to Swoon

I'm picturing this tattooed in a fraktur font on the arm of some delicate pale thing in black lace.

i am picturing it on a lumberjack as he reaches for a second stack of pancakes.

MINE'S FUNNIER.

I'm picturing it branded into the side of a fainting goat, in Olde English gangsta font.

I'm picturing Bruce Springsteen up on stage. He's singing, "Belles like us, baby we were boo-oorn to swoooooon!"

Yeah totally common Effexor stuff. I have my suspicions that part of the reason for the weight-gain side effect (I gained *maybe* 5lbs, so not a big deal) is that it's hard to tell if you're hungry or not. I interpret that faint feeling as hunger, because I was hypoglycemic as a kid and that was always what that sensation meant when I was a kid - eat now! So I eat to try to make it go away but it doesn't work and only after I've eaten way more than I should do I realize that it's not that I'm hungry, it's that I missed my dose of Effexor that day. Whoopsie! :)

the one time i fainted ("passed out" makes me feel less the unforgivable wuss) was at a crowded concert, and i had the privilege of falling onto much shorter girls behind me. human padding made the whole experience dreamy, and when i opened my eyes to my name called above me i felt such bliss. you know, even as legs squirmed beneath me.

the one thing i regret about the years i spent on various psych prescriptions and their side-effects: my complete disuse of "it's the vapors."

I passed out in a developmental bio class. It was during a demonstration of vivisection on a sedated pregnant mouse, we were going to study the fetuses. It bothered me more than i thought, and i went over like a ton of bricks.

One thing I noticed about that.... dreamy, flashy surreal stories suddenly made a lot of sense to both read and watch. I fell in love again with the Sandman comics (particularly the characters of Delerium and Death - in that order), Yellow Submarine and art that was kin to what you make.
... except that yours is better quality and funnier.

And somehow has more weight to it. Your "old battleaxe" series for instance constantly feels natural - and reminds me of some of the more uppity and happy members of my family.

Surreality also helps a lot with the disconnect. So does REALLY obvious reality (like gym exercise and dance and stuff).

All the best!

Human languages evolved to let one monkey tell another monkey where the best bananas are. Monkeys are sensible creatures and don't need language to describe altered states because there's only one state worth describing: bananas or no bananas.

Is "Washed out" maybe the description you're looking for?

Does it help to know that I devoured Digger 3 yesterday, cover to cover, pausing only to Laugh Out Loud (which gets capitals because it's not something I habitually do for books)?

Sounds a lot like day-after-acid. Glad to see you're still keeping busy, despite the shitty feeling.

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