?

Log in

No account? Create an account
Previous Entry Share Next Entry
breeden
ursulav

(no subject)

Not feeling too bad today. Still annoyingly faint, still no sense of hunger, but not quite as badly detached from reality. No serious impact on my mood yet, but since returning to Raleigh, I haven't felt the need to collapse into a weeping heap, so overall, could be a lot worse.

Deb's parents and brother are coming to visit. It is a marker of how great a friend Deb is that she would allow me to stay with her during a stretch when her family is dropping in. It is a marker of the sardonic humor that the gods seem to be displaying lately that Deb's parents are Baptist missionaries.

"Are they gonna try and convert me?" I asked.

"Of course," said Deb, as if surprised I even had to ask.

"Ah."  I considered this. One does not belligerently proclaim one's skepticism in such cases--it'd be desperately rude to one's host to so disrupt the tenuous family harmony. Neither does one mention one's passing fondness for Ganesh to missionaries who worked in Thailand. "Okay, then I'm Catholic."

"You are not."

"I am so. I was baptized, I was just never confirmed."

"Eh, that'll work." (Oddly enough, claiming Catholicism does seem to work for me whenever people get the evangelical gleam. You become No Longer Their Problem. You're still going to hell, but a more respectable one.)

"And thank you for looking less goth than usual today," she added, eyeing me. (Because I am living out of a suitcase, my wardrobe at the moment consists of jeans and unrelieved black. And one brown t-shirt, which I was wearing.) "My mom's already going to say something about the tattoo..."

"Best investment I ever made." I swear, this thing starts more conversations. Not always conversations I wish to have, apparently, but still...

Wish me luck.


"Neither does one mention one's passing fondness for Ganesh to missionaries who worked in Thailand."

That sort of works with the whole Catholic thing, though. The less ecumenical and more hostile evangelicals think Catholics are nothing but a bunch of pope-following polytheists anyway, and Ghanesh would hardly be the first god press ganged into sainthood by the Catholic church. You probably still shouldn't mention it, but at least you can quietly know the whole Catholic thing is kinda sorta true from a certain point of view.

Tats sure do start conversations. I like the comments I get on my new on (an Awesome Kraken) more than my first one. Which tends to get a lot of "what does it mean"s from rednecks.

(Deleted comment)
i wish you luck.

be sure to wear your rosary. that fends off ALL sorts of religions.

(Deleted comment)
I find my "I was raised Episcopalian" seems to work, because nobody's ever quite sure what Episocopalians are, and they never seem to note that I didn't mention anything about what I am now.

The faintness might not be *only* the drug, especially if you're not eating much. I suggest a Gatorade regimen, or orange juice. And bananas, if you can choke them down.

you know, the hangover diet.

I have been extremely lucky in that I have owned a series of dogs that seem to have a deep instinctive hatred for missionaries. No idea how that works, they've all been complete sweeties around everyone else, I imagine them bounding up tail a-wagging and licking burglars joyfully, but if the Jehovah's or Mormons come to the door, SNARLWOOFWOOFWOOFGROWL.

We did not teach them to do it, but danged if we ain't gonna take advantage of it. So even if the missionaries manage to work up the courage to knock on the door (a couple of them just heard the racket and turned around), the conversations tend to be short.

"DOWN, BRUTUS! DOWN! I'm terribly -DOWN! NO KILL- sorry, we haven't put him out in the pen with the steer yet today, DOWN! NO! NO MEAT!... Are they gone? Goooood boy, Toby!"

I use "I'm a Jew" to similar effect. It's also my excuse when people ask why I don't have tattoos or piercings. :)

I take sort of a dark satisfaction from being a nice, reasonable, accomodating atheist in these situations... which is perhaps not the most tactful thing to do, especially with family. *sigh* But I could listen to people try to convert me for ages (my record's about 30 minutes, so far). Eventually most just sort of give up, since "I'm flattered by and appreciate your concern but I don't believe anything you're saying, really... but please go on, it's fascinating" is sort of hard to argue against.

Hee, I'm a Christian, and I have pretty much the same reaction when people tell me what a wonderful pagan I'd make. =)

My sister's a fundie. Family gatherings can be interesting.

Best answer I ever heard of someone giving to a door-to-door religious type: Oh, goodie, the Master said the sacrifices would present themselves! Come in! Come in!

As a good Christian girl who believes that it is our job to convert as many people as we can*, I shouldn't find that hilarious...
But oh man, do I! I just keep imagining Peter McNichols saying it.


*Granted, my concept of "conversion" is less about knocking on people's doors and bothering them, and more about walking the walk and talking the talk respectfully if the subject comes up.


Personally, i'm waiting for the next one, so i can answer the door with Tesla, my 2 meter long red tailed boa around my shoulders, and offer them an apple. That reminds me, i need to go pick up a fake apple to keep by the door.

Don't forget the nudity with only a strategically placed fig leaf for clothing.

Good luck. My tattoo is also a conversation-starter, but I've been told "I don't like tattoos but I like that one" a few times.
My stepdad's aunt and uncle (gotta love blended families) used to belong to this fundamentalist church I was very unhappy with ("A rave? Isn't that where they sell drugs?"), and I had to go when we went to visit (they live in the States). I'm fascinated by all religions and spiritualities, but it was hard to tone down the grinding of my teeth sitting in the pew at that one.

I find saying that I have my own beliefs and am a member of a church works pretty well. When that doesn't work, telling them I'm gay has seemed to end the conversation. I can also send any elders running by letting them know that my girlfriend is Mormon. :)

Try being a Methodist, instead. They're considered "mostly harmless" by other Protestant groups.

*snerk* That's so darn true. Something about potato salad...
Heh. Oh Methodists. They're so nice...

(no subject) (Anonymous) Expand
(Oddly enough, claiming Catholicism does seem to work for me whenever people get the evangelical gleam. You become No Longer Their Problem. You're still going to hell, but a more respectable one.)

This wouldn't stop my fundie grandparents from trying to gang save you. :-p

Good luck!

Claiming Catholic has never protected me from Baptists.