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breeden
ursulav

(no subject)

It's done.
The Bathroom of Monochromatic Lust is--heh heh--hung.

I am a happy squid.

It contains five frog couples, one pair of dung beetles, one pair of bunnies, and a coupla humans, just so nobody thinks I'm, y'know, weird.

Believe it or not, this is good feng shui. I am deeply skeptical that it'll actually do anything, but that's the "relationship" section of the apartment, according to the compass, and should be hung with images of happy couples, and also I'm supposed to keep the toilet seat down. Which I would have done anyway.

The skeptic in me will allow that some feng shui is based on solid practical psychology--thou shalt not have thy back to the door, lest one grow twitchy and paranoid while working, for example, and thou shalt have wide enough walkways not to knock crap over by accident, and I'll even allow that having the bed wedged into a corner with only one approach is probably less than welcoming for potential visitors to said bed.

However, I do not particularly buy that filling the upper right quadrant (aligned from the front door) with peonies and romantic imagery will have a mystical effect. There are limits. Thus, frog sex and heavily tattooed bald men embracing. That's as close to romantic imagery as I'm getting. (Hey, the tattooed guys are oddly sweet.)

On the other hand, if I now meet a nice man who says "Hey baby...wanna engage in amplexus with me?"* I will have no one to blame but myself.



*...and I would be so impressed that he knew what amplexus was that I would at least let him buy me a drink and plead his case.


just so nobody thinks I'm, y'know, weird.

Um... ah....

Yeah, nevermind.

All kidding aside, sounds like you're settling in nicely, er, weirdly?

I always thought that offering a night of amplexus to anyone would be an instant failure. Now I know.

Ya want the guy to produce CD's with you? Why?

Hung you say...? But is it well hung?

For some reason I read 'Amplexus' as 'Anamalocaris'.

Now there's a beastie for you!

I meant Anomalocaris, obviously...

Honestly, amplexus just doesn't sound nearly as *satisfying* for either partner, compared to say.... straight-forward mammallian copulation.

OK, Ursula. You lay the eggs and I'll cling to your back and fertilize them.
I'm sure I have some Stern's Miracle Grow here, somewhere.

OK, Ursula. You lay the eggs and I'll ring the National Enquirer.

Awesome!

Part of me hopes you post pictures. (*yay* for pics!) Part of me is perfectly happy imagining Teh Glory
and part of me has fingers in my ears going LALALALALALALA

...Is it me, or is the My Little Pony in your icon probably called Sleipnir?

I'm supposed to keep the toilet seat down.

Just the seat, or the lid as well?

The lid, too. Yeah. That's what I meant.

(Deleted comment)
I am almost ashamed to admit that yeah, I did know about penis fencing in flatworms. I almost put a nudibranch mating shot in the bathroom, but they lose too much in black and white.

Reading your journals, I have got a sudden urge to redecorate my apartment... your idea to put pictures of mating frogs in the bathroom is just brilliant.

Ever thought about going into interior decoration? ;)

On the other hand, if I now meet a nice man who says "Hey baby...wanna engage in amplexus with me?"* I will have no one to blame but myself.

You realize now that at least five people will ask you this at the next con you go to, right? And you really will have no one to blame but yourself. ;)

Amplexus is an Italian record label which specializes in limited edition mini CDs by notable ambient artists like Steve Roach, vidnaObmana, Robert Rich, and Michael Stearns.

en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Amplexus (label)

and also I'm supposed to keep the toilet seat down. Which I would have done anyway.

Well of course. Otherwise the Dragon of Unhappiness might fly up your bottom. Don't you just hate it when that happens? [/pratchett reference]

Waugh! You made a bunny picture and I can't see it unless I break into your bathroom. **Searches for that crowbar....**