Can Ursula make it? Will her wallet REALLY be waiting in Minneapolis? Will the weather hold up? Will the last throes of 2007 reach out with icy annual claws, the final death spasm, and do something unspeakable to her, possibly in Detroit?* Will I pass midnight on the tarmac, forced to choose between a redneck seat-mate and the flight attendant for the traditional New Year's kiss? Will the Authentic Michigan Love-Stone** set off the security alarms? Will Ben bolt for the outdoors while I am trying to get my suitcase through the door?
Tune in tomorrow to find out, and in the meantime, let me wish you all a hearty "Thank Ganesh THAT'S over with!"
*I once wandered through downtown Detroit, along Michigan Avenue, on foot, unarmed, in desperate search of Sudafed. That I survived is proof that the gods look out for fools and madmen, and I cannot shake the feeling that Detroit is patiently waiting, like a colossal urban cat, for the foolish mouse to return. That Detroit and 2007 may make a brief unholy alliance is a fearful thought.
** "A what, Tom?"
"An Authentic Michigan Love-Stone!"
"You mean like this rock here?"
"Good choice! There you go!"
"Does it work?"
"I feel like I should demand a certificate of authenticity."
"I'll print you up one...."